Listen—I don’t know why bad things happen to good people. I really don’t. But let me tell you about all the things that I know for certain: I know that you aren’t supposed to go back to being the naive, unaware, and afraid person that you were before your heart broke open. I know that the person you are becoming is stronger, wiser, and more empowered than who you were before you were traumatized. I know that you are becoming someone entirely new, and if that sounds scary and uncomfortable, it should. Healing is not a comfortable journey. It is the most uncomfortable and turbulent wave that you will ever ride, but I know that you have to keep swimming even when the tides are not in your favour. I know that right now it might feel like you are drowning in the deep end, but my love, you were not born to wade in the shallows.
My beloved, you are human. It’s okay to feel torn between who you once were and who you are becoming. It’s okay to be confused. It’s okay to feel wounded and lost in the shadows. You are not broken because you still teeter between tears and joy, between anger and appreciation, between connection and solitude, between moments of hope and hopelessness. Remember that healing comes in waves. One day the waves might be gentle and calm, and the next they are battering the shoreline with rage and fury. The ocean is unpredictable, but if you anchor yourself in the rough and stormy waters, you will never return to the calm and balmy shores.
I know it takes tremendous courage to submit and surrender to the unknown, but if you want to heal completely, you have to accept that returning to the person you were before is simply not how healing works. You have to accept that healing is going to hurt, and it’s going to change everything, but it will not break you. You have to accept that this storm that is raging within was meant to create a pathway to transformation and healing. You have to believe that you are worthy of true healing. My beloved, you are beyond worthy.
So whenever you feel powerless, remember that you are stretching and growing. Remember that this process of rising and falling is making you new. It is ultimately clearing a path for something better: inner peace and total abundance. Remember that there is already an ocean of strength coursing through your veins. The only question for you, my dearest love, is are you going to let it flow?