Why I Don’t Care If My Daughter Comes Out Of The Closet


My daughter has never “come out” she was in fact unceremoniously pushed out of the closet. She doesn’t even know that I know about it. The thing is, I had already suspected that (cue dramatic music) she was a lesbian.

I have no idea why she hasn’t come out to me. She is fully aware that I don’t care what gender she is interested in. It may be just the fact that she hasn’t ever actually dated and therefore it doesn’t matter at this time. There could be a million reasons for it. Whatever her reasons for saying nothing, they are her reasons.

I think the whole concept of “coming out” is a sad commentary on the intolerance in our world today. As a straight person I have never in my life sat down with my parents, or anyone else for that matter to have the following conversation.

Mom…dad…I have something that has really been bothering me. I just don’t know how you are going to feel about it. So I am just going to say it. I like men. I am straight.

Nope, it has never happened. My family knows that I am straight because men are who I dated; men are who I brought home. I didn’t have to tell them, they figured it out. I care that when my daughter dates it is because she’s ready, not because she feels pushed into it. When she brings someone home I want them to be decent and treat her like she should be treated. I want her to be with someone she trusts and that makes her feel safe and loved, someone who makes her want to be the best person she can be. What gender that person is means very little to me.

Now for the sake of total honesty I have to say, while I don’t personally care who she is attracted to, I do hate the fact that without her having to do anything she will now have half the population hating her. Some will hate her to the point of wishing her death because of something that in no way impacts them personally. While I wish there were no labels, gay, straight, bi, or whatever and that it could just be about consenting adults being with whomever they wish, I know that is not the world we live in and I know she will face a lot of challenges because of it. For that I admit, I wish she was picking the easier path.