Why Choose To Be Fat?


I’ve spent some time battling my weight. A lot of people have – it’s part of life. Food and beer are too good – sometimes it’s good to indulge. If I’m at the club and my brothers want to hit the minimum on their parents’ accounts with a night of fries and Budweiser, I won’t say no.

Every so often, my pants get tight. Then I get serious, and work to get them comfortable again. It takes a few weeks. It’s a fun challenge. When your wardrobe is like mine, you don’t want to have to change. In the words of Patrick Bateman, “you can always be thinner, look better”.

We’ve got this “fat activist” movement going on these days. As I understand, it is a bunch of fat people who have deluded themselves into romanticizing their ever-increasing girth. I don’t understand it.

If you’re into fat people, more power to you. There’s never been a group easier to bang and leave behind. I can’t imagine what their self-image is like. It’s got to be borderline insane, right? To keep justifying something that is bad for you and makes people think less of you?

But Rosie O’Donnell’s doing well, right? Chris Farley was doing great, until he died.

To anyone working to improve in any way, I applaud you. It’s important to be the best people we can be. Those who are complacent with being fat are doing exactly the opposite. It says that we are okay as we are. News flash: No one is okay as they are. There’s always a way to become better and we should strive towards that.

When the phrase “no fat chicks” is a widely known piece of culture, shouldn’t that tell you something? You don’t need a comparative lit degree to understand it, it’s pretty basic.

Melissa McCarthy is one of the most famous female comedians. She is outrageously obese. For some reason, this is celebrated. It’s the only thing that allows her to have a career. Does this make any sense at all? We’re glorifying someone for being a land whale.

Guys – would you hit it? I don’t think so. If you say you would, you’re just trying to earn brownie points. I won’t give you any. Liars.

What I don’t understand about the fat acceptance movement is that these people are claiming an infringement of civil rights. You are not fat because you have to be. You are fat because you choose to be. You should change. Any discrimination that may be experienced is due to a personal choice. Make a better one.

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