It’s safe to say that at times I can be a very ‘wishy-washy’ person. When it came to my passion in life I would change my mind on a weekly basis. I lacked direction and in result I lost motivation in accomplishing anything that I had started. I went from working full time at a shoe shop, to working as a nanny, to starting a degree at university, only to discontinue so I could work in an office. And this became a never-ending cycle.
I have always felt like the odd one out in my group of friends. I kept asking myself, “Why am I so different?”
My friends all have full time jobs in which they seem to really enjoy, they are also happily in long-term relationships. While me on the other hand – I worked 3 casual jobs, 12 hours a day just so I could afford big trips overseas and go on shopping sprees.
And my love life? Well I continually dated guys whom I saw no future with.
My attitude and actions led to my family and even my closest friends nagging in my ear with what I should be doing with my career, how I should be in a committed relationship by now, and they demanded high expectations from me. As a consequence of accepting their opinions, I started to really lose confidence in my actions and my life choices.
Like many others in their 20’s, all I wanted was to find my passion. I thought “If I found my passion, what I really enjoy doing in life, eventually I would know what to do for the rest of my life, then I could work towards shaping my future.”
But how could I do that if I couldn’t make up my mind and juggled between careers before giving it a real chance?
You know that saying “When you stop searching for love, you will find it.”
How do I know this?
Because after getting frustrated with myself, job after job and also giving up on my goals whenever they became too hard to achieve, I decided to take a step back to take life day by day.
I went travelling on my own, all around the world. I became friends with like-minded people whom had no idea what life had in store for them either. It was then that I realized that I wasn’t alone.
I embraced what life presented to me. I learned new languages, experienced the life of a volunteer in a disadvantaged country, joined in traditional cultures and I gave myself the opportunity to self-reflect.
Not long after I took on this carefree, ‘life is a gift’ attitude, it happened – I finally discovered my passion in life. Something I had been doing all along and chose to ignore because of my continual search.
Travel and writing has always been a deeply ingrained part of me, two things I truly relish that always bring on my happiest self.
But why did I never consider this as my passion, my future?
Because when we live in a society where we are pushed to succeed, are expected to make those close to us happy, and are constantly compared to those around us. We become scared to try things out of the ordinary, we start to believe that the things that make us happy could never bring us success.
There are people who are fortunate enough to know exactly what their passion is, their dream job or how they want their future to look. And then there are others who struggle to make a decision, jump from an idea, to a job, to a goal that never gets achieved. In the end we are all on the same boat, we live in the unknown. A world where anything could happen, we grow and change everyday. So don’t constantly compare yourself to your friends and others around you who may think they have their life sorted out.
Nothing in life is ever set in stone. Stop forcing things to happen, do what makes you happy, and just trust in where life takes you because if you do, life will be good to you in return.