When you hear a song that makes you cry, instead of changing the station and trying to avoid the tears, cry. Sit in the moment and acknowledge the memory that is choking you at the pit of your throat. Respect those feelings that well up inside of you and give them the limelight to take center stage. Do what will resonate with your heart at that moment.
I don’t care how many people tell you that you should get over it, that you shouldn’t still be upset after a year, and to stop wasting your life on someone who doesn’t deserve your tears. It’s not up to them, and I bet if you were to dive into their soul, they would have some resentment, hurt, and bitterness that they were carrying around. So often we turn to other people, substances, and unhealthy habits to mask our true emotions and feelings.
I’m so proud of you for allowing yourself to cry in the moment, because that is where the true healing comes in, the true growth to be stronger. Tears do not make you weak; crying over someone you loved a year later does not make you weak. Crying shows that you can love someone wholeheartedly with loyalty, faithfulness, and substance, and it displays what an amazing heart you have.
Give yourself a moment to cry or even a day to scream, “This isn’t fair!” Then release it. Become grateful for everyone and everything in your life that stayed. Crying about lost love is healthy, but staying in that sadness isn’t. You will be okay. It may not seem like it right now, but you will. All those tears and hurt are bringing you to a place of acceptance. Maybe you needed to go through this to see that you weren’t loving yourself enough. These are the hard questions that you must ask yourself and do some soul searching. That person was not the moon and the sun, and they did not pack up your heart in a suitcase and leave with it. They are a flawed individual, just like the rest of us. They were important to you, they held your hand, wiped your tears, allowed you to be vulnerable for the first time, and now they are gone like a thief in the night. You need to acknowledge your pain and the injustice of it all and then open your heart to the possibility of someone new coming into your life. Don’t you deserve that?
If someone you thought was going to be your forever just took off, broke up with you, or cut you off, then you deserve more! You deserve an amazing love, and this act of leaving was not amazing. Put them in the light that they deserve to be in, which is your rearview mirror. Find your energy again, find your passion again, and become empowered in the beauty that is inside you. Go in search of you—smile more, sit outside and watch sunsets, dance to music while you are cooking, go skinny dipping, put your feet in the sand, and laugh. Treat people how you want to be treated and daydream about the life that you want with the person you deserve.
Some people find true love at 20 years old and some people find it when they are much older, but it happens. You can do this because I am right there with you, fighting off the tears a year later, but I’m not going to stifle them anymore, and neither should you. You are naturally beautiful, with a natural-born right to love and be loved. You are perfect at this very moment and have a contagious energy that lights up a room. Your uniqueness is not average, it is extraordinary, just like the special person who will adore you. That person who walked away is nothing more than water and a big fat sack of cells, which is the simplest form of life. On those days when the memories are at the forefront of your mind and you’re going through your day with that humdrum pain surfacing, remember to laugh at the water balloon you loved and know that you were very important to them because you are important to yourself. Now go have a good cry over a song that triggers your heart and then go jump in a pool naked and do something crazy that makes you feel alive, because you are amazing!