“Seven months? Are you even serious? We’ve never talked about this!” I said in high pitch. Several snapshots on what’s gonna happen in 7 months came floating in my head.
“Don’t you remember that before we even started this relationship, we had a clue that it would take that long?” he said convincingly. His voice was breaking, evidently fighting his tears.
“No, we didn’t,” I answered stubbornly. Unspoken words filled the room, but whatever was drawing us to this life, I was very rigid that I would not allow another failed relationship to take over me. In all honesty, I couldn’t recall any moment that we discussed not seeing each other for a while after our two-week trip together in Thailand. As far as my memory is concerned, there would still be a chance for us to meet halfway probably in August. And before his one-month trip in South Africa in December.
I want to escape from the sense of longing. By just thinking about not being with the person I love for a torturing period gives me the ticket to lack of harmony.
Funny as it may seem, we were happy on the terrace of our beach front villa while sharing our lovely rich dinner we bought at the street market, coupled with a special champagne all the way from Germany.
We sank into ourselves and wandered endlessly until we came back to our senses.
I’ve been through this and no one deserves to be in such an awful situation.
Ugh, fuck this long distance!
“This is not the point,” I said. “Don’t we have a backup plan if we can’t meet in seven months? There’s plan A and there should be plan B. Where is it? Like if you started counting the months, that’s going to be in 2018! This drives me insane!”
“I have hundreds of plans,” he answered. I hushed up.
“Please don’t murder me. I have been doing this long distance relationship for four years and none of them had ever worked out. Don’t you get it? I don’t want to see you every after three months! That’s not a relationship!”
He probably was right, I may just be overreacting. I was attuned to this long distance, remember? But no, this doesn’t delete the idea of being a thousand miles away from each other for the next 7 months. It felt like a fate of setback.
“We will figure something out,” he said.
In my mind, “Why does he want this? How can this relationship benefit us?” My thoughts broke when I realized that my love for him is beyond all my drama and tantrums and that he’d done so much for me, much more than I deserved and our time together was exceptionally fun.
Over the course of the evening, we opted to make an ultimate decision. It was a comforted Zen decision.
Some things can be compromised with bits of wisdom as long as you’re in the proper state of mind. Some things can make a lot of sense from the bottom. At least half of my so-called mature life had been engaged in long distance relationships. Perhaps, I never learned. One thing is a definite prime, I have strong feelings for him.
And he’s not less. He’s more than enough. Chris proves to me every day that distance sometimes doesn’t matter. He exerts a great deal of effort and we make sure that love is equal. Love is always on top.
Just please don’t ask me how it works intimately well because I’m definitely sure you don’t want to hear the stubborn, complex answer and the ugly truth of long distance relationships, but for as long as you love each other, you will stay strong. Flawless. The feelings that I have for Chris is undeniably intense that’s why we both want to work it out and do the best things that we can. We value our long distance relationship despite the fact that we are, evidently, so close yet so far away.
Long distance sucks. I know and I couldn’t agree more to that fact and belief, and whatever you do, you can’t get away from the irking actuality how this kind of relationship is existing, and if you’re not profoundly devoted to it, then don’t. Don’t waste your time. I’m telling you, it requires wonder woman to achieve triumph, a comprehensive understanding, insurmountable amount of trust and love beyond everything.
We’re not doing it because we’re forced to but because we deeply love each other. That’s a beautiful thing despite the ugly truth.
Nevertheless, by force of will, it will work out. Sharing the same goal and vision would close the distance in the near future.
Good luck with that.
If you ever are in the same situation as I am right now, all I want to say is:
Work hard together for it. Enjoy the moment and don’t forget to live your life. When love is real and genuine, it can conquer all even the distance.