What It Feels Like To Be Loved By You


When I jump in the shower because I’m afraid of being late again, I watch where I’m stepping because I remember you told me to. When my mom offers me a slice of melon, I laugh and realize that you are the only one who will understand. When I start eating, I think about whether or not you’ve eaten already and if you have, what you have eaten.

When I start to get sleepy, I immediately tell you so you’ll know that no, I’m not ignoring you and I hope you understand my affair with sleep. When I cuddle with my pillow, I wish that it were you I was cuddling instead. When I look out my window and realize that it is raining, I think of you and the way you said you liked me.

It’s the fluttery feeling in my stomach whenever you try to be sweet. It’s the way you look at me just to see my reactions. It’s the ba-dump in my chest when you sneak your hand into mine despite the layer of sweat. It’s your fingers when they start playing with my hair. It’s how you stroke my arm while talking to me.  

It’s how you look when you’re concentrating on something important. It’s the way you can’t hold in your laughter when you tell me your stories. It’s how you keep trying to tickle me even with the knowledge that sadly, I am not a ticklish person. It’s how you let me return the favor even though we both know you don’t like being tickled.

We have both been too shy to make a move for a long time, and it’s only now that we’ve tried this out. It’s still disappointing to think about how late we’ve started and how time is against us. You say we’ll make up for lost time, and I think about how sweet that is. Now, you’re going off to college, and that’s going to make things difficult, adding to that is the fact that my mom will always be present to cock block.

It’s only been a little more than a month since we’ve officially been together, but our weirdness is so compatible it feels like it’s been longer. Like you’ve said, I wish that this wouldn’t ever change, because after we do the things we’ve always wanted, I hope we’ll never tire of each other. Like the sticker on my laptop that marks you as my property, I hope you know that you own me as well, and that this right here is what it feels like to be loved by you.