Until I Am A Mother, I Will Never Understand


I see the way you wake up from struggling to sleep last night; how you roll out of bed to begin another day.

I see the way you work; how house chores become your life’s routine and your top priorities are your husband and two sons.

I see the way you cook; it may not be everyday but when you do I know you pay extra attention, taking note of allergies.

I see the way you get angry; how you sometimes throw tantrums and flare your hands up as you struggle so deeply to understand how these things take place.

I see the way you put on makeup; maybe it’s a habit, something to impress your husband with, or something to make you feel good…and trust me, you look breathtaking with or without it.

I see the way you cry; how tears roll down your face at night and maybe you hide it from your children to make them see how strong you are but darling, its okay for them to see you cry, to know that you are hurting too.

I see your habits; some good, some bad but that will never faze me because just like every being, you are not perfect and I don’t expect you to be.

I see the way you shower affection to your husband; I can see it radiating whenever I see the both of you, I wish for someone to truly love and stick with me through it all and I in return as well.

I see the way you comfort people; how you tell them to be strong and to cheer them on with their achievements, and to pray, to pray for their happiness.

But more importantly,

I see the way you are so beautiful, inside and out genuine beauty that blooms every day.

I see the way you laugh, whole heartedly and steady like a heartbeat.

I see the way you are humble, putting others needs before yours.

I see the way you care, from the street children near a gasoline station to a lost and broken girl who can’t find the will to pick herself up again.

I see the way you love, to give your whole life and soul into something or someone to see it nurture and grow out of your love and care without expecting anything in return.

But you must know,

I struggle to understand how someone can open up themselves like that and to take a step back and appreciate everything.

I struggle to understand how someone can give up their old life in exchange for a life where you are not your top priority anymore but you are faced with challenges, sacrifices and a family to keep afloat despite the hardships of life.

I struggle to understand how someone as genuine and unique as you could walk this earth and become a mother of an amazing husband and two wonderful sons.

I struggle to understand how you can have flaws but it will not compare to everything that is to be celebrated about you.

I will have to wait till I am a mother.