Are you someone who waits until the last minute each year to figure out what to dress up as for Halloween?
Well you are in luck. Here are some costume ideas that scare the pants off of me, so I hope they will work for you, too.
1. That one guy from high school you don’t want to talk to who walks into you from around the corner in the grocery store
He could be an ex, or not. Either way, you’ve made eye contact. So now you have to commit to a conversation with him that rivals the pain having your card declined and shoved under your nails at checkout.
2. Period cramps
These are not just any period cramps by the way. These are second day cramps accompanied with an upset stomach and a migraine. The horror of this one might not be universal. I have been told that a good alternative would be Guy Who Just Got Kicked in the Crotch.™
3. Student loans
The kind of loans that are so expensive that you know you will be playing Mahjong in the home by the time you get them paid off, if you ever live that long. Also these loans have more interest than any of your dates have had in the past about you.
4. Engine check light
The light is on, there is a burning smell, but no one can find the problem. You have to be at work in 15 minutes, you have a presentation to give, but no sanity left to offer at all.
5. Starbucks coffee worker calling out your name when you have a unique name
If you don’t have a name off of the “10 traditional names that everyone can spell” list, ordering at Starbucks can be horrifying. Although, even if you have a traditional name, now there are so many spellings that even the most bland of names can be a spelling/pronunciation guessing game. Is it Ashley or 4$hL&yyyy (pronounced like Courtney)?
I hope you, dear reader, have liked these ideas for your perfect costume. Remember, being an adult is so frightening you don’t have to look far for inspiration!