To Girls Who Want To Be Treated Like A Queen, You Need To Calm The Fuck Down

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I was browsing Instagram looking at impossibly attractive women in lingerie, as one does on Instagram, when I stumbled upon an ~*~inspirational quotes~*~ account. Nothing too wild, tame sentiments on not giving up and loving after being broken, not sure if it was concerning people or appliances, but I digress.

One quote immediately popped out at me.

“I’m waiting for my King because I’m nothing less than a Queen.”

Lol, bitch, what?

I get the intent behind it. It’s an exaggerated version of, “I deserve better than this.” And sure! I bet you do! Good to have standards.

But…Queen? Oh honey.

Who do you think you are?!

No,¬†seriously. I’m asking. Which royal family were you born into? Do you have a castle? Can I visit? What’s your current take on America’s foreign policy?

Basically,¬†if you aren’t this woman, please don’t refer to yourself as “a Queen.”

You are not Mia Thermopolis. And no guy is going to fall all over himself for a chance to pamper your entitled ass.

Go date a regular human being who also treats you like a regular human being. Again, unless you are Queen Elizabeth. You do whatever you want, Babe.