This Is Why We Can’t Find Love In A World That So Desperately Craves It


Most of us grew up in a world of falling in love and happily ever after. We convinced ourselves that, “Hey! It’s okay to kiss frogs because my prince will come one day!” We tossed coins in the well, wished on 11:11, and even prayed to some deity about finding true love.

However, we’re also willing to swipe left on Tinder, block an ‘annoying stalker’ on Grindr, and sleep around like bunnies on crack. Then, we’d pause, reflect, and be sad because “why can’t I just find love?”

But, actually, why? Here’s a little hypothesis I made to justify my ‘singleness’ and I think it’s reflective to all people my age.

In a world filled with open and covert hopeless romantics, why is it hard to find love?

The answer is simple. It’s because we seek perfection, we have the attention span of flies, and we treat each other like that last piece of meat we consumed before we suddenly decided to be vegetarians and you know, “never again”.

I know it’s a simplistic reason, but what if the reason’s actually this basic? We’re a generation often accused with the lack of introspection, but what if we’re actually hyper-introspective that we just overanalyze stuff and sabotage our chances in love.

We all heard a friend saying, “He’s alright but you know…” and then we nod approvingly because for some je ne sais quoi, we actually do know.

We’ve also been in situations that we zoned out in dates, hated his hair, would rather not be with them, etc.

And if we did end up going home with them because “hey he cute, tho!” We’d wake up the following day regretting our decision or worse, catering this baby hope in our chest that they’d still talk to us and that they’d want to maintain contact.

Then we’d only be disappointed because we’d figure that they decided to join Casper in the ghost world – only, they’re far from friendly. They’re just gone. Until you see them in the supermarket and exchange awkward glances.

As a generation, we raved about Adele’s music and “omg all the feels”, but we’re never ready to take the leap. We’d make up excuses and elaborate lies. We’d even go far and join the spirits in the ghost world just to avoid someone.

Yet, underneath all of these, we secretly long for love, for romance, and for that one special person to make us stop and drop everything because finally we can say, “Yes! I am ready!”

I guess, for individuals with so much faith in humanity and a majestic ending, we also need to pause and open up. We need to acknowledge that we all want the same thing and we don’t have to reduce each other into a Grindr square, a Tinder swipe, and a warm body to get us through the night.

Forget instant gratification, because sometimes, you have to let things brew longer to get accustomed to the taste. And you know, fall in love with it.