This Is The Problem With A Generation That Is Obsessed With ‘Finding Themselves’


On any given day my social media feed is filled with images of friends in faraway countries. It seems as though everyone is looking for the next big adventure, booking tickets on the fly and spending all of their money on trips around the world; constantly in search of something they hope they’ll find along the way: themselves. 

To me, the notion of ‘finding yourself’ is one that implies that we’re all walking around lost. Like our day-to-day isn’t significant enough to have any actual impact on the people that we are supposed to be, but I think it’s the opposite.

I don’t think we find ourselves, I think we create ourselves.

Through our decisions and relationships our lives are built little by little until we ultimately become the people we’re going to be.

One thing I’ve noticed about the generation of people trying to find themselves is that in the constant search for the next adventure, it actually hinders a persons ability to create lasting relationships. Not that I think everyone should go out and get married right away, or ever in some cases, but I do think it’s possible to learn about yourself alongside someone else. The marriage rate is lower than it’s ever been, and of course I understand that being married at twenty-three is not the norm. But I do wonder if everyone is so desperately trying to make sense out of their lives as an individual, so focused on soul searching, that they’re actually missing out on meaningful relationships.

This isn’t to say that I don’t think experiencing other places is important to our growth as people, because I absolutely do. And I myself can’t wait to have the opportunity to travel, and learn about other cultures and lifestyles. But I don’t find think it’s possible to have everything about our own lives figured out right away, simply because we took a year off to “find ourselves”. We’re constantly changing and adapting based on our experiences. I think that travel specifically is more about learning as much as we can about others, more so the way others live and how different and the same people are in other parts of the world compared to our own lives. But, as much as travel is a great tool to learning things about ourselves, and the people we want to be, I don’t think it is the end all be all in deciding who someone is going to be.

I don’t think that the people we’re meant to be are out there hiding from us somewhere waiting to be found. I think that our experiences and relationships help us become those people, but I think that by actively searching, and always looking for the next best thing hiding around the corner,

we’re actually missing out on the most important things that would help us to understand who we want to be.

It’s so important to take advantage of the day-to-day, and to not miss out on the small things because you’re always looking for something better.

So start today by creating yourself and the person you want to be. Don’t waste your time searching for the person you think you might eventually be, because sooner or later you’ll become the person you were always meant to be.