This Is For The Next Girl You Date


To “You”—

For years now I’ve wondered was it me? Am I to blame for our demise? Despite the fact that you told me not to take things personally I couldn’t help but question it. But now I listen to you and the answer is no I cannot take it personally because you will do this to the next girl, and the girl after that, and the girl after that.

Patience, I haven’t gotten there yet. I do not write to blame. This is the good part of this letter. This is my plea letter to you, to urge, to encourage.

To the next girl you date: smother her with love smother her until she cannot breathe there’s so much love to fill her lungs. Kiss her every night and hold her for at least five minutes before you fall asleep so that she knows that she can dream in peace with you beside her. If she has insecurities do not remind her of them but encourage the good things about her, encourage those things to grow. Treat the insecurities as if they were weeds and do not feed them…for I promise you will reap the rewards of what should grow in their place. Spend time with her. Listen to her. Not because you should, but because you want to know what the girl you love did that day, what made her laugh, what made her cry, what tickled her ears and made her stomach turn. Whisper good morning to her and look her in the eye and tell her that you want to wake up to her every single morning and then try try try try to wake up to her every single morning. Make sure she knows that she is special and beloved by you because she CHOSE you of all people in the world she chose YOU and you should be so damn lucky to hold her hand and call her yours.

To the next girl you date. Challenge her. Encourage her. Support her. Be there for her. Fight her fears. Invest in her. Invest in her. I say it again INVEST in her. Because love is not a handout nor is it a transaction but it is a two-way street. And you should be so damn lucky. For you do not deserve her. But she chose you anyways. When she’s feeling down lift her up and when she’s high keep her there. Speak to her gently and never raise your hand even if you never intended to use it. Do not meet her with silence for it will truly kill her the way it killed me. Slowly over time, I swear to you it will destroy her. And you will wonder where she went without looking in the mirror.

To the next girl you date. Be different. Be brave. Be fair. To the next girl you date. Stay.

Be there.