Things I’ve Internally Screamed About This Week


1. How no one seems to understand what a toxic relationship actually is anymore.

2. And the colloquialization of this term has made me question how bad my own toxic relationship really was. (Spoiler alert: very.)

3. That people literally swarm around my apartment during game times and leave beer cans and glass everywhere and it’s a danger for my dog when she just wants to go for a goddamn stroll.

4. That that utter scab of a human being Martin Shkreli says this kind of stuff about Lauren Duca.

5. How fucking exhausting it is to be a woman on the internet.

6. The times I slept with someone who probably ended up voting for Trump and STILL doesn’t understand why that’s such an embarrassing decision to have made.

7. How I did so well for a month not ripping apart my nails, only to flip out about something and ruin them in just 20 minutes on Monday.

8. The fact that even if I know, firmly and unequivocally, that I am right about something, if the right person doesn’t agree with me, it does matter even a little bit.

9. How a spider came into MY home, probably onto MY bed while I was sleeping, and BIT me. And not I have a really gross thing on my hand that’s yellowish and red and itchy. Fucking rude.

10. The fact that sunburns don’t always peel off in the big, fun, disgusting-but-satisfying chunks but sometimes are just petty and flaky.

11. How Airbnb can cancel your listing unexpectedly and NOT give you a coupon code to say, “Sorry ’bout that.”

12. The fact that iPhone 7s with 120 gigs of storage and an unlimited data plan are somehow, not free.

13. How there are actual, real live human beings who exist in the universe and who say they are “fascinated” by mental illness. And me and my anxiety and depression are just over here like…please stop staring.

14. That no is somehow not a complete sentence to some people. Everything to them is a negotiation.

15. That no one has invented diet wine yet.

16. The fact that I’m probably allergic to sesame seeds/oil/sauce out of the blue. And that is just fucking unfortunate.

17. How when I’m interested in someone, I immediately go into “ignore them” mode. And I know you’re shocked, but that doesn’t work out great!!

18. How stagnant I feel during the last 4 to 5 days of every month because it just seems so pointless to do anything at all.

19. The American political climate! And how we’re all going to die! Or be forced to wear uniforms and probably fucking worship a former D-List reality TV show host who openly bragged/brags about assaulting people! Haha!

20. How there are men I know who call themselves feminists (like it deserves a medal), but still insert themselves into conversations in which they were not invited and say things like “I wish I could be a hot girl so I could get validation for just existing” and don’t see how that statement is D R I P P I N G in misogyny.

21. Honestly pretty much everything. Because it was a scream-worthy week.