The Ultimate Career Aptitude Test: What Kind Of Job Is Right For You?


Are you at the right job, or are you thinking about entering the right field? You might want to take this short quiz to help you clarify what you are and what you are not suited for. Pick the answer for each question that is most appropriate for you, and write down it’s corresponding letter [A,B,C, or D] on your answer sheet.

1. The following statement is true for me:

A] I like people.
B] I like people sometimes
C] I like the concept of people
D] I like people skewered, well seasoned, with a side of rice.

2. Working in an office 8 hours a day seems:

A] Like a fulfilling career.
B] Tolerable.
C] A little better than having polio.
D] The best way to make death seem attractive.

3. I view having a critical boss as:

A] Instructive and helpful
B] Just part of the job
C] Good practice for being married
D] A defensible excuse for “going postal”.

4. When working with others:

A] I am a team player all the way.
B] I try to be co-operative.
C] I can only bite my lip for so long.
D] I wear spikes on my shoes.

5. When others take credit for my work or ideas:

A] I understand, it’s just the nature of things.
B] I am only slightly resentful.
C] It makes me wonder if they found out about me and their wife [or husband].
D] It’s ok, it evens out, they will have their four flat tires to deal with.

6.The only thing more important to me than my career is:

A] My health and family.
B] My health.
C] Lunch.
D] Any noun or verb.

7.Where do you see yourself in ten years?:

A] The head of a company.
B] The head of a department.
C] The head of a street gang.
D] Still working on my fiber intake.

8. What motivates you the most:

A] Being successful
B] Having nice things
C] Finding out my ex-wife has slapped a lien on my 30 year old car.
D] Keeping the loan sharks from tenderizing my appendages.


A] If you answered mostly A to these questions, you are probably a very social, self-motivated person with great ambition. You will do fine in whatever you choose to do, so shoot for the moon and don’t worry that your co-workers probably won’t invite you to group lunches because they will consider you to be an over-achieving, butt-kissing, dweeb. Remember, you will be their boss someday soon, and what goes around, comes around, right?

B] If you answered B for most of the questions, it means you are slightly motivated, but not actually ambitious. This is like having the second best hand in a poker game. Be prepared to be passed over for most promotions in favor of the A types. The good news is that when the FBI comes to arrest company officials for insider trading, price fixing or selling fraudulent bonds etc., you will probably not be considered high enough on the corporate ladder to bother arresting.

C] If you answered C to most of these questions, you are probably faking your life and barely holding things together. This means you would probably make a good civil servant or union member. Just make sure to pass the probationary period, then you can do whatever you want. Happy napping.

D] If you answered D to most of these questions, apparently, you are an anti-social psychopath. The good news is that there are still many careers open to you. You could be a launch-button operator in a nuclear missile silo, a drug lord, a lawyer, president of most large corporations, or an author for career aptitude quizzes.

Good luck with your career!

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