The Truth About Loners


We all have those friends who would rather spend a Saturday night inside reading rather than going out to a bar and being social. We all wonder what the heck they are thinking; there is a whole world out there, and we want them to experience it. We just don’t understand. We cannot imagine anything more satisfying than being around other people. We call them loners, and while we love them; we don’t get it.

I am one of those loners. I am the girl who would rather spend her Saturday morning at a café, alone, than walking around talking and gabbing with friends. I am the girl who would rather read on a Friday night than go for drinks at a bar. I can be found in the movies by myself or wandering aimlessly in the park. I like being alone; in fact, I crave it.

You might think you have me figured out. You might think that you understand what goes on in my head. But, in reality, you don’t. Luckily for you, I am here to dispel any myths about loners and enlighten all of you social butterflies on what a loner really thinks.

1. We like to read, okay?

It has nothing against you, but sometimes other, made up worlds are far more fascinating than what is going on in our current life. Why would we want to sit around and talk about our parents’ divorce or our amazing relationship when we can read about an adventure, a murder, a princess or a wizard? Again, nothing against you; but, sometimes another world is just far more fascinating.

2. We don’t dislike talking; we just like to think our words through.

You might think all loners are quiet or dumb, but what you don’t know is we all have an inner monologue that flies at about 10000 words a minute. We often have a tough enough time keeping up with our own thoughts that we can barely find the time to verbalize them. If you want a loner to share what he or she is thinking, slow your roll, be patient, and wait for them to sift through what they actually want to say.

3. We don’t dislike people; we dislike pointless conversations.

Small talk is our worst fear. We don’t care about the weather, or your dog. We want to talk about things that matter, like your hopes, your dreams, your future, your struggles. Take a loner to a bar, and he or she will avoid getting to know new people just so they can avoid talking about things that don’t matter. We value every word we speak; so, why would we waste our breath on something as meaningless as what we ate for breakfast?

4. We may not show it, but our emotions run deep.

Don’t hurt a loner’s feelings, because they are not likely to forget it. They will let it stew in their thoughts; and it will permeate everything they do. Give a loner a compliment, and you will make their day. They will be on cloud nine. When a loner’s dog dies, they will cry; it just probably won’t be in front of you. When something traumatic happens, they will freak out; but it will be alone. We like our privacy, and we only show our emotional side to those we know are in it for the long haul.

5. Loners can out party, out drink, and out “fun” anyone.

Give us a chance to open up, and you will have the craziest friend of your life. It might not be every weekend, and it might not even be every month; but, when they decide to go out and rage, rest be assured it will be a good night.

It takes some time to warm up to a loner, and being a loner’s friend is no easy task — especially if you are the type to go out, be social and talk all the time. But, give it time, and a loner will make the best friend you’ve ever had.