The Thoughts Running Through Your Head When You Have A One-Night Stand, Based On Your Zodiac Sign



(March 21st to April 19th)

I hope they like to be blindfolded. You’re adventurous in life and in the bedroom and you have no shame in breaking out the kinky shit you’re into, even if this person is a complete stranger.


(April 20th to May 21st)

I wonder what my (insert body part here) looks like right now. During a one-night stand you’re very concerned with what you look like. You don’t know this person, but you hate to think you look terrible in front of them regardless. You want to look your best at all times including this one night.


(May 22nd to June 21st)

Wait, what is their name?! You’re a bit forgetful, you’re more than happy in the moment, but as soon as it ends and you have to say goodbye you can’t remember their name. You quickly weasel your way out of it and ask them to put their number in your phone (with their name).


(June 22nd to July 22nd)

Are they going to call me after this is all over? You don’t really like the idea of a one-night stand. You’re sentimental and sensitive, and you want to develop a real connection with someone, not just spend the night with them.


(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Damn, I’m good. They’re loving this. You’re extremely confident in the bedroom especially when it comes to one-night stands. You’re not wondering whether or not they’re enjoying themselves, you know they are.


(August 23rd to September 22nd)

What is that poster on their wall? You’re very observant and critical. When you have a one-night stand you’re dissecting their entire living space, their artwork, their furniture, their stuffed animals (if they have them you’re judging).


(September 23rd to October 22nd)

I better come because there’s no way this person is ever going to call me again. You’re not really into one-night stands because sex is more than just a physical connection for you, you like there to be an emotional connection too, and you know you’re not going to get one from a one-night stand. You’re hoping you can at least get off.


(October 23rd to November 22nd)

I wonder how flexible they are. You’re passionate in bed and you hate when sex is boring. You’re going to try and make this as fun as possible. What’s missionary?


(November 23rd to December 21st)

Can we take this to the kitchen? You’re adventurous when it comes to sex and you like to switch it up. You’re thinking of ways you could make this more fun, maybe throw some whipped cream in there, maybe some chocolate. The possibilities are endless for you, it’s a shame the two of you only have one night.


(December 22nd to January 20th)

If I leave now I’ll get X hours of sleep. You’ve got places to go and people to see. You don’t really want to be up all night at some random person’s home. You want to go back to your own place, wash your face, and be able to complete your nightly routine.


(January 21st to February 18th)

What’s on their bookshelf? You’re intelligent and it’s unlike you to have one-night stands simply because you’d rather have interesting conversations with someone than just jump right into bed with them. Your well-educated and worldly, and if you have a one-night stand you’re wondering what they’re reading. Maybe you’ll get a good book recommendation when this is all over.


(February 19th to March 20th)

I’m not stopping until they come. You are a sensual and passionate lover, and you like to make sure your partner is satisfied. You’re all about what you can do for them, not what they can do for you.