The Painful Truth About Your Friends Right After Graduation


If you think that the mere mention of “college graduation” is as painful as any other separation plot, think again.

What happens after graduation? Fresh graduates will start pinning down job opportunities, spend the graduation cash gift from their parents, go on an ultimate adventure with families, and even bum on their couch. But what happens to friendship right after graduation?

I’ve been used to having my girlfriends around me—all three of them—and almost got myself involved in all of their routines. We go to class together, we study together (and we don’t study together even when preliminary exam comes on the next hour), we chat, we skip classes when we think that spending the night for a movie marathon and indulging on a buffet dessert is a rather better idea. All these activities ran through our four-year stay in the university. But when we got the impression of marching towards the center of the stage on the 28th of March, we felt very jubilant and hurtful. Jubilant because finally, all our hard work in college will be paid off—all our 48-hour work, all our write-ups, reports, theses, articles, even the days we have to attend classes without taking a showe—and finally, we will be going out of the university as refined, independent individuals who know how to rock the world. 

But it’s also hurtful. It’s hurtful because the most stressful events in our lives happened when we were all together—all three of us having each other’s backs through thick and thin. It’s hurtful because you know that you’ll never find people like them, and you’ll never be with them like you did when you’re cuddling on your bed to take a ten-minute break.

When we were finally employed in our respective jobs (and one of us is enrolled in a prestigious law school), communication became hard-pressed. I was used to having normal conversations with them every single day, including weekends, that’s why as much as possible, I try to keep communication open. I try to maintain my patience in waiting for their replies, only to find myself forgetting that I asked how they were doing in the long run. I never had a reply.

My law student friend and I often exchange messages, and I think it’s a good thing that I’m still able to strengthen the relationship I built with another soul. But the truth is, there’s heartache in me when I try my best to reach out to the other two and get nothing in return. I miss them so much that it hurts to think that they won’t make time to communicate with you—not even a single message in a week.

The truth is, I don’t want to lose any one of them. We spent four years of being together, and it’s not something I want to waste. But sometimes I think, it’s quite easy for them to forget. And it’s very painful because I love them so much. In fact, I love them as I love my own life. We graduated as a degree holder. But it doesn’t mean that we graduated from our friendship, right?

Maybe this goes to show that we have different lives now, and that we are fated to go on different paths. Maybe this goes to show that you’ll know how important people are when they’re already gone. Or maybe, this shows that no matter how much you try to keep communication open, it won’t happen unless it comes in two ways. Communication is not a one-way street, anyway.

Or maybe, it’s just their painful way of saying goodbye.