The Only Piece Of Advice You’ll Ever Need For Dealing With Nice Guys


I’ve detected a troubling trend when it comes to ladies’ posts here on Thought Catalog of late. You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones complaining, endlessly, about “nice guys.”

After ranting for five paragraphs about this one guy friend she has who keeps taking her out to eat, insisting on paying for her meal, flirting with her all over Facebook, buying her sweet little romantic gifts, and so on… the lady in question will inevitably become even MORE incensed when some dude in the comment thread pipes up and says, “But seriously… if you don’t like the guy, why continue hanging out with him? Why continue accepting his time, attention, gifts, etc.?”

“He leaves me no choice!” the lady indignantly proclaims. “I’ve told him time and again, in no uncertain terms, that we’re friends and that’s all we’re ever going to be. But still he INSISTS on taking me out and paying for my drinks and all that other stuff! Whatever am I supposed to do?”

This sort of attitude confounds me, because it suggests that, more than anything, these ladies need a crash course in the judicious deployment of the word No.

So, to the lady in question, I beseech you:

Practice saying No.

1. When your male ‘friend’ invites you to hang out, say No.
2. When he offers to pay for your drink, say No.
3. When he ‘insists,’ you insist as well. Say No.
4. When your car breaks down and you really, really need a ride, don’t call your friend because you just KNOW he’s the one person who will absolutely positively show up and be ready, willing, and able to come to your aid (whatever his motives). Say No.
5. When you’re late on the rent and he offers you money, say No.
6. When he buys you a sweet, romantic little gift, say No. Return it to him, and tell him you really think it’s time the two of you parted ways. When he apologizes and begs for another chance to be a good little boy, say No.

And if all this seems like too much to countenance, if you just don’t think you can bring yourself to do it, think about all the times you’ve ALREADY told this guy No.

1. When he reached for your hand during that romantic movie, you said No.
2. When he walked you to your door and finally, belatedly went for the kiss like the 15th time the two of you hung out, you said No.
3. When he bought you chocolates and a dozen roses and asked you to be his Valentine, you said No.
4. When his hand idly strayed over in the direction of your lower thigh during that other romantic movie you let him take you to, you said No.
5. When he confessed his feelings for you in no uncertain terms, you said No.
6. Every time he’s asked you to reconsider your response since then, you’ve said No.

See! You can tell this guy No, I just know you can! You’ve got plenty of practice. Don’t give up hope. I believe in you!

*gives you a[n entirely platonic and supportive] hug*

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