I’m new here so I might as well introduce myself.
My name is Adam, I’m from a small town in the United Kingdom, I work as an Insurance Advisor as well as working as a DJ in local bars and venues. So to you I’m just another dude walking through his path of life. Now here I am writing to give you an insight into a life that no one sees, not you, not my friends, just Me, Myself and I
People approach me while I’m behind the decks and say things along the lines of “Wow! You’re a DJ, you must have such a great life and get so many girls and get laid all the time blah blah blah…” and yeah, don’t get me wrong I love what I do, there is nothing on this Earth that can relate to the feeling of seeing a room or arena full of pissed up people loving the music you’re playing and giving it their best dance moves, even if it looks like they’re having a seizure. Basically the way it goes is: If they’re having a good time, I’m having a good time.
And while I’m fulfilling my passion, there is not a lot ‘great’ about this line of work, or my life for that matter.
People assume that just because I’m a DJ means I’m the most popular person walking into a club, girls clinging to me like plastic wrap and every guy wanting to be me. This is far from true, in fact, this is probably one of the loneliest jobs you could work.
I’m on the road a lot, although I work weekly at the bar I have residency at I still ‘tour’ and work in other venues, I hardly get time to see my friends, I suffer from chronic depression, which in turn leads to fluctuating confidence levels, and while girls love DJ’s (this is a well-known fact) they love confidence more, and can smell an unconfident guy as if he had shat himself 5 miles away.
This contributes to the depression greatly, and I know there are many others (DJ or not) who know how this feels, so here I am writing to tell you how I cope.
I make music.
A lot of music.
When things play on my mind to the point where I’m feeling at the brink of suicidal, I sit in the bedroom studio for hours on end producing House music. Sitting there and doing something productive takes all the pain away from your mind and focuses it on the new track you’re making, and my mood at the time often has effect on the music I make.
And when the track’s finished, I sit there with a grin on my face, feeling accomplished as I click ‘Upload’ on SoundCloud.
And it works.
Every time I do this my mood sorts itself out, I no longer hate myself (for the moment), and my confidence soars to the point where I’m doing quite well in the sex life department.
Then a couple of weeks later I’m back to my usual self, feebly watching my crowd dance the night away, unable to maintain a conversation with a woman, and then back in the studio I go.
So I love my job, but at the same time, my job will be the death of me. So to those feeling the same, know that there is a place in society that only YOU alone can fill. Play the hand you were dealt.