The biggest disservice you can do for yourself is settling just out of fear of being alone.
The mounting pressures of finding “the one” and entering a relationship can be greatly influenced not only by the people around us but by social media as well. As we get older, we see friends falling in love and starting families, and it might push some of us to seek a relationship solely driven by fear of loneliness. Societal pressures can make it seem as if being alone is scary, painful, and lonely, but it is easier to be in a position where you can make a choice to bring joy into your future. Time is precious and valuable, and it is our ally. The longer we take to work on ourselves, prioritize what we want in a relationship, and focus on seeking the right person that fits in our lives, the happier we will be in the long run. So, while others run to find their fairy tale ending, be wise and wait. Patience and time are on your side in the pursuit of happiness.
Believing that you are not capable enough to endure, to thrive and reach your goals on your own, will set you on the course to settling. Loneliness can be a powerful catalyst that can either contribute to our greatest successes or failures. If we allow it to consume us, the anxiety can lead to stagnation and some extremes, our own self-destruction. However, it can bring us to find the part of ourselves that is willing to endure, fight, and get stronger. If you settle, you will not see your greatest potential and the achievements you can accomplish through your own merits.
Determining that being single is the right step for you at any age is a sign of confidence and empowerment. It also shows you know your self-worth. A relationship should never determine anyone’s value because our happiness should be our main priority. Embrace being single and do not try to rush the process. Being single and in your 30s, 40s, and so on can be strange for many people on the outside looking in. But this should be a time for growth. Folks immediately throw in their two cents and start to craft their own storyline in their head about what is possibly wrong with you. This can even be taboo for certain people, but this is only telling of their own insecurities. The ability to exercise your power of choice by not diving into a relationship shows that you are not afraid to wait and can only tolerate being with someone who meets your standards.
We live in a society where the concept of finding a twin flame or soulmate trumps success and our self-love. But we should be focused on prioritizing our needs and wants. Getting caught up in the romantic fairy tale might have been intriguing when we were younger, but as we mature, we need to be practical about reality and how a relationship is not synonymous with a triumphant moment. Instead, it should be viewed as something that happens organically, and therefore it should not be rushed.
Marriage is romanticized to the point where we see it marketed. We also must remember that the divorce rate is also high, so maybe we should all take things slower. The idea of marriage should be to choose someone that you love who is willing to stay through the good and the bad in life. You must be in the mindset that having a partner means a commitment that can last you a long time. Rushing will only lead to failure, especially if you do not take the time to first learn more about yourself before committing. The truth is, a relationship does not mean you will live blissfully and happily ever after. It could be the case for some people, but most of us will never feel that romantic haze we felt early in the courting phase for prolonged years. Being married or in a long-term partnership only allows us to develop stronger emotional ties as we connect to our partners. Relationships allow us to learn about our partners, abandoning our selfish habits, learn to apologize, and forgive, as well as reach a compromise with your partner.
Settling does not promote growth. If you are in the privileged position where you can freely choose a partner, use it. This is your golden opportunity to pick your close to perfect person. It would be a shame to waste your best years on someone who is not on the same wavelength, someone you do not love or who frustrates you. Even if they are perfect on paper, there could be a possibility that you do not love them.
Love is important, since it brings the promise of devotion and hope. A spark and magnetic attraction are one of the major elements needed for a relationship to begin. Communication, trust, and emotional connection are components that help make a relationship last. When you settle, you remove layers to love, since everything is rushed. Love takes time, love is patient; love them if you agree to be joined with them. Choosing the right one starts with a love that is positive, not selfish, and allows us to not feel ashamed. However, loving yourself first will allow you to weed the good and bad manifestations of a potential partner’s “love” for you.
Entering a relationship organically is one of the most alluring things anyone can feel. Finding someone we genuinely connect with and love is truly extraordinary. Your journey to love should involve finding the partner that is right for you. Choose someone you truly love, respect, and want to be with. Do not rush to pick someone who seems fine on paper to conform to societal norms. Relationships are hard, so choose someone who will make you want to stay in one and be committed and loving. Enjoy the rush of love with a person you want, even if it is not a fairy tale ending. At least you chose the person who you were truly in love with.