The 60 Most HILARIOUS Things Patients Have Said While Under Anesthesia

33. My wife couldn’t take me for my first colonoscopy due to work so my mother did, and apparently coming out of anesthesia, when they were removing my IV, I told the nurse, “Oh, that’s neat. I’ve taken a lot of those out, but I’ve never had it done to me, and my patients are always dead.”

Apparently she looked very concerned by this information and my mother had to explain that I’ve been a licensed funeral director for many years and hospitals and other facilities often do not remove tubing.

Apparently I then followed that up by telling the (young) nurse she had a nice butt, but not as nice as my wife’s. My mother felt free to share that with EVERYONE.

So yeah. I creeped out a nurse by talking about my occupation, and then even more by commenting on her butt in a backhanded compliment.