You are hard to love because you have gone through so many painful ordeals that you have built an impenetrable wall to protect yourself against the people who have hurt you in the past. You trusted them and let them into your life, but in the end they turned their back to you and left you wounded. The palpable pain was a promise to yourself to never let anyone cause you any harm again.
You are hard to love because you have been bogged down by insecurities and thoughts that you are never good enough for your significant other. You feel the trepidation that their idea of you is not what they imagine you’d be, and you fear that they’ll leave you in the pursuit of someone better than you. Self-doubt and low self-esteem push you down further into a sinking hole from which you are unable to see the surface and the light of day.
You are hard to love because you are never going to settle for less. You refuse to lower the bar because you have a set of standards that you told yourself you must adhere to, and you place certain expectations on the person that you choose to spend the rest of your life with. You want to make sure that they tick your boxes because that is the only way you can see yourself loving another person.
You are hard to love because you do not think you deserve happiness. You are battered and too broken on the inside, so you refuse anyone who tries to enter your life. You don’t want them to see the mess that you have created. Your headspace is filled with anxiety and misery, and you do not think it is fair to the other person to have to go through your mental torment with you.
For whatever reasons that you’ve been told that you are hard to love, there is nothing wrong with that. But please know that you deserve to be happy—you deserve to be loved.