My Mistake Was Thinking I Was Special


My mistake wasn’t getting involved with you, my mistake was thinking I was special.

I’m not sure if it was anything you really did, but I had myself convinced that you were as involved as I was. Maybe it was the way you held my face when we kissed, or the good morning texts I would wake up to.

It could have had something to do with the way you described me in such detail. Only somebody who loved me would notice the way I play with my rings when I need reassurance, or bite my lip when I don’t know what to say. Somebody who didn’t love me wouldn’t say my eyes were so beautiful they can seek them out, even in a crowded room.

That was just you playing the game you play so well.

I knew you were good too, I had seen you win a thousand times, but I had never been your opponent. I didn’t know how easily I would get caught up in it all. Now I know what it feels like to be caught up in a whirlwind and not even know you you’re about to come crashing back to reality, until it happens and you’ve hit the ground so hard you can’t even breathe.

Yes, you’ve taken my breath away in the most painful way imaginable. I’ve been drunk on you for so long I now feel like I have a hangover, without ever having a single drink. I can’t see straight, the room is spinning, and I don’t know if I can stand on my own, but please, tell me again how I’m one of the guys. I love listening to you tell me about the girl you had over last night.

I should have known I would end up like every other girl I’ve seen come and go in your life. Let me be very clear though; I do not regret a single second of this time with you. I only wish I hadn’t thought I was the only one spending time with you. That was my own mistake.