I find it really sad that we live in a day and age where young girls have to take picture after picture of the same rehearsed pose to beat the amount of likes on their last selfie pic. There are about ten girls I can think of right now on my FB that post a selfie every day. I wonder how many times they had to take a snapshot to get the perfect pic, of the same exact pose they had the day before. Oh wait, one thing does change: the captions. “Me at the beach!” Same pose. “Me eating lunch!” Same pose. “Me and my best friend!” Same pose. Get over yourself, please.
2. Hipster selfies
I had to specify this one because there is one difference between regular selfies and hipster selfies. Hipster selfies are the absolute most irritating selfies on the planet because they are the people that don’t believe they are like the rest of the selfie taking population. Just because you are wearing red lipstick, have a Bon Iver song lyric and are using a DSLR instead of an iPhone to take your pic does NOT make you any different from every other attention-craving young girl. What is it with hipsters and DSLR’s anyway? Anyone who knows ANYTHING about photography knows that film is the way to go. Always.
I have a mixed reaction to hashtags associated with pictures on social media, because often times they are so dumb that they’re hilarious. The best ones are the hashtags associated with selfies. There are two hashtag/seflie combos that are the worst/best: 1) The sexy selfie with a mindless quote about life like, “Living in the moment!” #livelife #thankful #lovelife #peace #love #laugh #live 2) The selfie with every detail of their day/outfit/life #Tuesday #worktoday #atthemall #eatinglunch #lunchbreak #taken #lovemyboyfriend #khakis #blueshirt #sexyy #imbored #kissmeimcute #justkidding #ihaveaboyfriend #ilovehashtags #imobnoxious #someonekillmeplease #ishouldneverbeallowedtousesocialmedia ‘Nuf said. Use hashtags sparingly people.
4. Sexy , but not sexy
The biggest problem I have with sexy pics is 9 out of 10 times, the person taking the pic is the ONLY person that thinks they’re sexy. No one needs or wants to see that.
These pics are the type that only have a pass Freshman year of college. Freshman year you don’t have the concept of editing/discretion/common sense and that’s okay because you have to get it all out of your system so that when you’re older and wiser, you know better than to post beer bongin’ and table dancin’ pics. Oh right, just kidding. Some people never learn and shamelessly continue to post these ridiculous and embarrassing pictures well into their late 20’s and 30’s. The worst part of it all is how they are trying so hard to convince everyone looking at their pictures that they are so happy, still going out every night, to the same bars, with the same washed up crowd, doing the same shots that you gave up five years when you grew up and moved on with your life.
6. Duckie face
Do I even have to explain this one? WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL POSTING THESE DUCKIE FACE PICTURES? WHY??!?
Animals are nice and I often find myself getting sucked into a cute pup or cuddly kitten pic. But every day, of the same animal? My sister put it so well when she said, “How many different faces can an animal really make?”
People’s picture postings of food has gotten out of control. There are a few occasions where it is understandable and acceptable: at a fancy restaurant, when you are eating something truly interesting or different, when a significant other surprises you with a home-cooked meal and if you cook something spectacular that you’re super excited about. All other food pics need to stop ASAP. No one cares about your turkey sandwich for lunch or scrambled eggs for breakfast. Everyone eats and can make both of those things. SO OVER IT!
Baby pics are something that at times are really out of control, but no one wants to say anything about it because it makes you an asshole if you say something negative about a sweet, little, innocent baby. Let me just say this, there is a loose etiquette when it comes to posting baby pics. The two worst baby pic postings are: 1) The ridiculously pretentious baby pics. Like the ones that post Mommy’s designer pumps, Daddy’s designer loafers and baby’s designer booties all next to each other with the caption, “Our little happy family”. BARF. 2) When people post 30 snapshots of the same pose. I mean, your baby is adorbs and all, but it just gets kind of old seeing the same pose, outfit and face all posted at the same time. My general rule of thumb when it comes to baby pic postings is either post one daily picture, a weekly post of a few pics, or a monthly/seasonal album. It’s hard to edit when it’s your kid because as a parent you’re going to think every single picture is the cutest in the world. Family and close friends love to see this pics though, so make it easy and enjoyable for them to look at your little one grow!
Another topic I’m probably going to seem like an asshole bringing up, but I have three huge issues with couple’s pics. 1) The girls that go from boyfriend to boyfriend and post albums and albums of pics from EACH relationship. I mean, do you really want 500 pictures of evidence from each boyfriend on your FB? And why do you keep that shit up? It’s awkward for everyone to look at your trail of the past ten boyfriends and all your intimate pics with each one. 2) The couples that post pics from their vacation, and none of the pictures are actually of them together, instead they’re individual pics of them posing in front of the same landmark individually because there was no one else there to take a picture: “Me in front of an old tree.” “My boyfriend in front of an old tree.” “Me with a life jacket on.” “My boyfriend with a lifejacket on.” “Me looking at the ocean.” “My boyfriend looking at the ocean.” Me standing in front of a restaurant.” “My boyfriend standing in front of a restaurant.” You get what I mean. Next time pick more interesting places and things to pose in front of, please. 3) Professional couple pics of HIGH SCHOOLERS. Do I even need to go into the ridiculousness of this??? I will never understand.