Music Video Open Letters

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To Julian Casablancas regarding throwing mic stand during “Last Nite”

Hey Julian,

I get it. You don’t care about “stuff,” like the music industry, life in general, and whatever. You live in New York and your band The Strokes are the languid Godsons of punk. And it’s all rather precious and charming, but watch where you’re throwing that mic stand, because you just might hit that Production Assistant whose life isn’t so hot right now, for he’s not some genius-boy type singer with a beautiful face; just some dude from like Ohio who moved to New York for his then gf who dumped him for a Merrill Lynch financial analyst, and now he’s clocking in at $11 bucks an hour following the Director around with a box of donuts. Last nite, she said, oh baby I feel so down. Yeah, I got it. You and a groupie were snorting coke in an expensive hotel off 56th street and she felt bad because her mom is Puerto Rican. Got it. New York is so romantic and gritty, every gum drop stain a constellation from some dumb mouth, and ripped jeans will always be in style. Save it for the Interview interview okay? And will you please watch where you’re throwing that? Christ.

-jc