Let’s All Grow Up And Stop Doing The Slow Fade


We’ve all been guilty of employing the slow fade away at one point or another and it is by far the tackiest of dating strategies, especially when you enter adulthood. For those of your unfamiliar, the slow fade away is when instead of simply telling someone you are not interested in dating them you find a million excuses to not ever see them again.

When they text you, you reply with something along the lines of, “Oh, I would but it is my best friends birthday and we already have plans,” or, ” I would love to but I’m super tied up with this work thing.” I very rarely travel for work but my personal favorite is that I am away on business.

The basic strategy is to avoid this person at all cost, but to do so in a way that neither hurts their feelings or makes you look like an asshole. Well guess what? You are an asshole. Not because you don’t feel a connection, but because you are making this person feel like they have a chance to eventually be with you. The slow fade is not effective. This person is going to keep texting you until they eventually realize that every time they reach out you are mysteriously busy and they finally give up. It takes some time to get to that point.

Generally, dates end in one of three way. Both people are interested; one person is interested; no one is interested. In my semi-vast experience, situation number 2 is the most common–finding love is hard people. The problem with situation number 2 is that it means one person has to tell another that they are essentially over it, and unless you love awkward conversations you generally either employ the super-douche move of the slow fade, or you just ignore the person. (Don’t ignore them, that’s mean).

Problem with the slow fade — it keeps the interested party on your hook. They like you, they had a great time, you are the one with the problem, so handle it. Be an adult and tell that person that they are just not what you are looking for in a partner.

Odds are that person is not in love with you and they’ll quickly move onto a new situation and you’ll either be a bad date story they tell over drinks, or they’ll forget about you completely. We all bitch about not being able to find a nice guy/gal, because we’ve been on the other end of that slow fade. No one likes it, so grow a pair and tell that person the truth. It’ll set you free and probably save you from guiltily avoiding your text messages.