In 2017 I loved and I lost. I experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. The euphoric days and the loneliest of nights. Every fiery emotion on any color spectrum. I overcame. I surrendered. I took control. I let go. I learned and I grew, and I drifted and I withered. I climbed, and I explored, the wanderer and the dreamer. I ran and I hid, the coward and the lost. I was thrown into darkness and catapulted into greatness. I became. And I unraveled.
I felt unbelievable happiness, unenviable sadness and a million things in between. I saw and felt, and immersed myself in the beauty of an imperfect world, an uncertain life.
And what I learned was:
Healing is not linear. Growth is not linear. Life is not linear.
And that is ok.
Nobody is perfect. Progress is not perfect. Life is not perfect.
It’s so easy, so tempting, to lose yourself in this idea, this notion, this expectation of how your life should be lived to every exact detail, down to every last moment. It’s so difficult when you accept control of a life that is yours, to relinquish it. It is so unnerving, to have to accept what is yours to control, to have to surrender otherwise.
But it is necessary to live, and to love, and to have, and to witness, to want and to create, a full life.
We are full-bodied, I am full bodied, we are raw, imperfect, I am raw, imperfect, we are, I am, learning with each step, and we may not always get it ‘right’, but so long as we place one foot in front of the other, so long as we recognise our place in this world and our effort to match it, we cannot be ‘wrong’. Not all lives look the same. Especially compared to the lives in our head. As much as we draw, as much as we detail, plan, work, as much as we drive ourselves crazy over perfection. Life is messy.
But it is limitless. Perfection is stagnant. Life is growth. Perfection doesn’t exist. Life does. So live. live. Live. As only you can.