Sometimes people mistake being single as being lonely. While being lonesome is a valid feeling, it’s not always the case for single people. In fact, there are things in this life that you may only unravel through your singleness.
I recently came across a quote that says, “If you don’t know what to do with yourself, what are you going to do with someone else?” and it makes so much sense to me. If I can’t be happy with myself, how can I be content when I finally have a partner? If I don’t take care of myself enough, how can I care for others? And if I don’t know how to love myself, how can I love genuinely?
I’ve been single quite a few times already, but it is only now that I realize how intense and powerful this phase of my life is. Because at this point, I have a chance to choose myself. Through this stage, I get to choose what I want, what I need, what will make me happy, and what type of woman I want to be.
In being single, I realized that I am complete—with or without a significant other. My favorite thing to do to practice self-love is to go to the nearest cafe, have a glass of iced coffee, and read a good book while strangers from all walks of life surround the café. As simple as it is, this act of self-love actually proves that you can go on with your life and enjoy—with or without a hand to hold.
While being on my own, I also learned how to set healthy boundaries with the people around me so when I finally get to have a partner, our relationship will not end up forced. And by boundaries, I mean saying no to things, situations, and people who don’t serve me well or right. Life should not be complicated, and love should never be hard. By respecting these self-boundaries, I learned how to better care for myself by listening to my mind and body.
Having all the time for yourself while being single should also not be wasted. During this phase, I fell even more in love with physical and mental activities such as yoga and meditation. On the surface, self-care looks like bubble baths and monthly body massages. While those activities are not so bad, doing things that will fulfill your mind and body also work wonders.
Personally, committing to a daily yoga and meditation practice has led me to fall in love with my life and live more presently. This practice has taught me that regardless if you’re single or not, you have an entire life ahead of you waiting for you to live out. You know what they say: “We only die once. We live every day, so don’t waste your time.”
There are so many other reasons why your single days could be one of the most transformative moments of your life, but if there’s one thing I will tell my future partner when I finally get to meet him, it’s thank you.
I will thank him for coming into my life the exact moment that he did. Because had he arrived earlier in my single years, I wouldn’t be able to mold myself into the woman who is capable and deserving of having him. A woman who, thanks to her independent years, will get to love him so purely and irrevocably because she took her time to grow and get to know herself well enough.