If The Price Sounds Too Good To Be True, Then It Is Too Good To Be True. I Learned That The Hard Way.

I made my way down the hall, and felt a creeping sense of familiarity. The old, boring beige wallpaper, the antique, bronze light fixtures made to look like candles, the random red leather chairs down the halls, with wear and tear down their arms. It all felt like a hazy dream I’d had many times before, but always forgot soon after waking up. I walked in autopilot down the halls and to apartment 3213. The same number as my condo just across the street. I wasn’t sure how I’d led myself right there. The layout was definitely similar, but not the exact same as my floor. But here I was, like I’d been following GPS directions.

I stared at the door for at least a full minute without moving. I was worried about who would answer — if I’d see myself answer the door. What would I even say? “Hey, I’m you…and I watched you die twice in horrible ways. Would you kindly cut that shit out?”

Yeah, I don’t think that was going to cut it, but I pondered no longer and just manned up. I knocked on the door with just two quick knocks. Thirty seconds and nothing happened. I didn’t even hear anyone moving around inside. But I still waited another 30 seconds before knocking again, this time a little louder and longer. A few seconds later, the door across the hall behind me clicked open. I turned and almost gasped.

It was the sexy dark girl from the night before. Her hair was much longer, and she wore glasses now. But that was her. She smile sweetly at me, and spoke in a cute little voice.

“Can I help you?” she asked from behind her thick glasses.

I couldn’t answer right away, but finally, I was able to speak. “Uh, yeah…do you know who lives here?” I motioned my head back to the door for 3213.

“That apartment’s been empty for months,” she shook her head, her raven bangs swaying back and forth.

“Are you sure? There’s not a guy living there that looks like me…like, exactly like me? Uh, my twin brother…” I asked, trying not to flip out right in front of her.

“Nope, definitely not. I’d remember if a cute guy moved in across the hall,” she said, with a giggle. I could see why the other me fell for the psycho bitch. Psycho gorgeous. She pulled one of her hands from out behind the door frame, and in it was a shiny little knife. My hand immediately twitched, trying to shoot to the 1911 under my jacket. I just nervously smiled instead as she continued. “I’m actually baking some chicken right now, if you’re hungry. You could call your brother. Maybe he lives on another floor?”

“No, that’s okay,” I said, trying to smile. I could feel the sweat start to gather just under my skin. I couldn’t stop staring at the knife. “I’ve gotta’ go, actually. It was nice meeting you.”

“The pleasure was all mine!” she called out in that adorable little voice as I turned my back to her and quickly headed back down the hall. She didn’t seem to recognize me. Or she’s so crazy that she’d forgotten she killed a dude that looked just like me the night before. I suspected the latter wasn’t the case.

I headed back out into the rain with more questions than answers. I don’t want to go back to that condo tonight, but I don’t have anywhere else to go. Maybe I should get some really dark curtains or something before I head back home.