If Rappers Were NBA Players


Hip hop and basketball have gone hand-in-hand since Kurtis Blow greased up his ‘fro and wrote a song dedicated to the sport back in ’84.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_shxzlTRK44&w=622&h=452]

There has been a litany of b-ballers that have tried their hand at the rap game (Iverson, Ron Artest, Shaq, and Chris Webber to name a few) and a handful of rappers that have put down the mic and picked up the rock (remember when Master P tried out for the Hornets — WTF).

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn0YeqaqmFo&w=622&h=452]

The question is, what if Lil’ Wayne were reincarnated as a basketball player? Who would he be? Answer, in case you’re wondering, is Marquis Daniels. Here are some other projections. Feel free to chime in with suggestions.

A Tribe Called Quest = Shaq and Kobe. Shaq (Phife) and Kobe (Tip) came together to win three titles (Instinctive Travels, Low End Theory, Midnight Marauders), but ultimately, egos drove them apart.

Nas = Tracy McGrady. Crazy skilled and showed unbelievable promise as 18-year-olds. Solid careers but never really amounted to what could-have-been.

Rakim = Jordan. The G.O.A.T.

Mobb Deep = Isiah Thomas and Bill Laimbeer. Come into the lane and they’ll rock you in the face, stab your brain with your nose bone.

Big Daddy Kane = Dominique Wilkins. Killed it with the hi-top fade in the 80s.

Mos Def = Kevin Durant. Smooth, versatile, can play any position. Cooler than the draft in my apartment.

Talib Kweli = Jason Kidd. Smart, heady players. Not the most technically gifted, but makes any collaboration better.

Biggie & Tupac = Bird & Magic. East Coast/ West Coast. The biggest rivalry the game has ever known. Only difference is that Magic and Bird were able to resolve their differences after the Barcelona Olympics.

Eminem = Pistol Pete Maravich. Flashy, lots of weapons. The great white hope/ hype.

Kanye = Lebron. Bigger than the game — love ’em or hate ’em, they’re at the top of the sport.

Jay Z = the 2013 Brooklyn Nets. He’s a business… man.

Beastie Boys = Steve Nash. Old school game. Funky white boys.

The Roots = Dwayne Wade. Style for miles, fresh to death, [insert other corny hyperbolic rhyme here]. They get your ass off the seat every time.

Dr. Dre = Kevin Garnett. Elder statesmen. Behind the scowl, there’s just a kid who loves the game. Bald.

Snoop = Allen Iverson. Impressive rap sheets, sweet braids, clouds of weed smoke.

NWA = The Jail Blazers. Attitude. Kill whitey.

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image – Benjamin J. Delong