If Our Love Is No Longer Here, Where Will My Happiness Go?


Love is an amazing and inexplicable feeling. It produces a high ten times stronger than the most powerful drug, a perpetual light-headedness and a feeling like you can walk on water. Nothing seems to get under your skin when you’re in this state. You hardly bat an eye when the asshole driver cuts you off even though you clearly have the right of way, and you’re not even bothered that you’re just trying to buy a water bottle but there’s woman in line ahead of you with a fully stocked cart. You’re just so damn happy all the time and nothing will rain on your parade.

But love is also heartbreaking.

It’s the reason you lay awake at 3AM with your eyes fixed at the ceiling with a laundry list of thoughts spiraling through your mind. The reason you can’t focus at work because you’re too preoccupied thinking about that one person. Love is capable of snatching your happiness right out of your hands and turning you from a “glass half full” person to the “glass half empty” type.

My whole life I’ve lived by the mantra “be happy for no reason, like a child. If you’re happy for a reason, you’re in trouble, because that reason can be taken from you.” Although right now I’m fortunate to be feeling the positive conditions of love, I know how quickly it could all transform into the ladder. In the blink of an eye, I may find myself staring at my phone screen in agony wondering why it’s been hours since your named popped up, and analyzing every word you uttered to find it’s undeniable hidden meaning. I may find myself holed up in my room because I’d rather drown in misery than face the world.

If our love is no longer here, where will my happiness go?

I’ll never hand over the power to my emotions. Because I’m aware that once I do this, I no longer have control over my happiness. And what happens once I do this? Will I stop holding doors open for people behind me? Stop smiling and complimenting strangers? The beauty of love is that it compels you to become the best version of yourself, but if it’s no longer present, you cannot allow yourself grow bitter and cold. If you’re in love right now, don’t forget all of the intrinsic reasons that contribute to your happiness. And if you’re single, learn to be happy on your own before you allow someone to enhance the feeling you already have.

Right now you make me incredibly happy.

Just the thought of you makes me smile. But so does the sound of birds chirping, curling up next to my dog, the feeling after a great workout, and cooking a delicious meal for myself. Before you came along, I was happy too. And I won’t let you take that away from me.