You know, I think that we’re doing pretty well as a generation. We’re a little too into instant gratification, maybe, and we may have somewhat entitled expectations for our careers, but I think we’re okay, everything considered. We’ve had to deal with the internet, and given that 95 percent of our population isn’t battling a debilitating porn addiction, I think we can report a pretty decent batting average. That said, though, I think there’s one thing we definitely need some more of: pictures of us in all of our various activities.
Let’s be honest, we’re beautiful. And even if we weren’t, we’re all good enough photo editors to make up for it. There’s nothing that five minutes on Photoshop won’t fix. And when our grandkids ask us one day why all the photos of us are so flawless and well-lit, well, we’ll just tell them that we were gorgeous and jealousy is ugly, shut up.
And it’s not just in the most important or exciting times in our life that we need to be taking more photos. Sure, at our weddings, graduations, or particularly well-attended keggers, the cameras will be at the ready. But for things like going to the movies, sitting in a friend’s room, or trying a new dress on in a changing room, we need to be more vigilant about getting a good shot from every angle. You never know which one is going to make you look that perfect combination of thin and effortless, and you’re gonna want at least two dozen to choose from.
The thing to remember is that you are extremely interesting, and people need to see more of you–of all of us. We should be making more of an effort to document the moments where we’re bored in our rooms and experimenting with how pouty our lips can look on a webcam. If we don’t save these moments, how will anyone know they happened? The idea that people could think that we weren’t savvy or considerate enough to freeze these moments for public enjoyment is a transgression that can no longer be forgiven. We have cameras, we know how to use them, there are no more excuses.
What is most important, in the grand scheme of things, is showing each other how wonderful and fabulous and interesting our lives are. The unexamined life is not worth living, and the un-photographed life is for sociopaths and recluses. Cool people do cool things and take cool pictures of them–just think of celebrities. What do we want from them? Photos of them carrying out their daily minutia. And if we become cool–if we look good, make a lot of acquaintances with money, show up at the right parties–strangers will start taking pictures of us. It’s a beautiful ecosystem of pictures, and you don’t want to be on the bottom of the food chain.
So get out there, take your camera, your camera phone, your webcam, and your insufferable film camera that you will later scan the pictures from like the massive tool you are, and start shooting. Because at the end of the day, if there aren’t 2,000 pictures of you on Facebook, you’re pretty much a pedophile.