I Just Want To Be Free From You

If anything, you were a learning experience. You weren’t the right one and I’m at peace knowing that. I may not have my love life figured out right now but by knowing this I’m headed in the right direction.

You showed me just how much my emotions can construe my actions and to be careful of this. How feeling hurt can threaten my ability to be the kind person I strive to be. How my defense mechanisms are often unintentional jabs at your emotions. No, I wasn’t playing games; I didn’t think the best defense was a good offence.

I was just hurt. And I’m sorry.

You taught me that I always, always, need to express my gratitude. How I wasn’t entitled to the things you did for me because of our “label.” They were gifts that you went to great lengths for. But material things pale in comparison to being in love with you. Just being with you after months of summer break was worth more than 1000 Tiffany’s necklaces. And if the next guy didn’t spend a dime on me I’d be okay with that because I understand that’s not what’s important.

I hope I taught you a thing or two. I know it seems like women are a never ending puzzle but I promise if you try and put together the pieces it’ll be worth it.

You’ll get better with each relationship until the right one comes along and hopefully, you’re experienced enough not to screw it up.

It’s sad that this prolonged break up stage has practically outlasted our dating stage. I want to look back and remember how happy I was to be your girlfriend, not how sad it made me your drunk phone call to come cuddle. So don’t be selfish, let me go. If you can’t be the one for me don’t hold me back. Let someone else be that guy. It’s not that I’m trying to fill your spot. I honestly just want to be free again.