I Find Freedom In Gratitude


I find myself here again, for the hundredth time. And for the hundredth time, I am amazed, in awe of this perfectly crescent shaped bay. As I carefully walk to its very heart, the soles of my feet gently sinking into the warm sand and settling between my toes. Here I am, standing still in the middle of two lush emerald green mountains. The ocean roars loudly as it rushes in over the shallow reef on each side of the opening, left and right, creating wave after wave that mellows out as it comes closer.

On the horizon, the far, deep blue ocean calmly ombrés into lighter shades of turquoise and inevitably turns into white foam as soon as it kisses the shoreline. I gaze up into the cloudless sky, my arms reaching high for the infinite universe, the powerful sun warming my face and squinting my eyes. I inhale the misty breeze and let out a long sigh of relief and gratitude. My hands rest together in prayer between my breasts.

I am intoxicated by the tropical air and suddenly feel a burst of energy running through my veins. I have awakened and now ready to live, take a few more risks. My heart beats a little faster, pounding through my chest. Unable to contain my desire any longer, I shriek in excitement and disbelief. My legs begin to run towards the sea, my feet splashing into the water. Longing to be embraced by the ocean, I take one last breath and dive into eternity.

I swim beneath a wave as it gently passes over me, open my eyes wide and journey out further into this crystal clear turquoise world. I see nothing but this beautiful color and I refuse to close my eyes, even if it stings a little. I swim as fast as I can, opening my thighs and kicking out, pointing my feet when they join together. I reach my hands as far as I can, then draw circles with my wrists to continue moving forward. I pop my head up for a second, open my mouth and gasp to inhale and fill these lungs with air. My lips purse as I exhale bubbles through the water. I am moving through time, through space, through infinity. I don’t know where I am going, but I am present in this moment.

I pause and try to catch my breath for a second. I wade through the water upright, curious to see how far I’ve gone and where I am now. Where the current taken me. Seems like I am in the center of a big bowl filled with nothing but water. The beach looks faraway yet I can hear voices of joy and laughter.

I turn over to lay down on this gravity defying bed. There I rest weightless, my spine is free to hold its natural curves, nothing to conform to. And my hair, arms and legs floating with the motion of the ocean. The bright sky overwhelms me again and I close my eyes from the light briefly. I am comforted by the darkness, here in solitude I feel peace of mind. I taste the salt on my tongue, slowly creeping into the back of my throat. Tiny bubbles on the curve of my back rush upward along my body, making my neck tingle with pleasure before it disappears into the surface. A few more seconds of this, and only this. In this moment, I feel free and ask for nothing else.