I Dialed By Accident


I dialed your number hoping you’d pick up the call
That we could just pretend
Pretend again for the moment that everything is as it should be
It happened without coaxing, without pretense, without pressure
It seemed so easy and I visualized you picking up on the third ring so that you didn’t seem too eager
I’d ask you what you were doing and you’d tell me how you were thinking of me too and hoping that I would call
That you were just waiting for a moment of opportunity to know that you weren’t alone in your feelings
To know that you weren’t the only one replaying the memories over again in your head of the things that we said that came out as empty notes of acceptance and letting go
And we’d laugh
We’d laugh
We’d laugh and forget about the pain in our voices
All of the truths revealed that to be honest, neither one of us could really forget
I visualized the inflection in my voice as you spoke to show that I was genuinely happy to hear from you and that this wasn’t just a moment of weakness
I pretended we’d agree to meet over coffee the next day and catch up on life awkwardly scanning between each other’s eyes and our surroundings to gauge how honest the moment seemed
But you never picked up
I let it ring and heard your tone over the voicemail – something that used to seem so familiar but now felt so disconnected
I tried to hide the emptiness I felt welling in my heart
I hung up before the beep – All the words escaping me that could have left a message
“You called?”
I barely opened my eyes as I read the text message the next day
“I dialed you by accident,” was all I could say