When I was 12, I thought I had my life figured out. I always wanted to become a doctor. Starting from middle school, I joined the science academy and took advanced science classes in high school. But before I even started college, during my orientation to be precise, I realized I wasn’t cut out for it. When I applied for university, I selected my major as Undeclared- life science. I was set on staying within the boundaries of science. With this in mind, I only went towards science-related activites during my orientation. One of these was a discussion by two real medical students of the struggle to get to medical school. Even applying to schools and studying for the MCAT took months of preparation and thousands of dollars. “You have to want it more than anything” they said. At that moment, a seed of doubt was planted into my brain. However, I was a hopeful 17 year old, not ready to face the reality that my lifelong dream might not be what I really want.
Taking my first college-level chemistry course was nothing short of a nightmare. I realized I had nowhere near the amount of necessary motivation to make it and that I may not be a “science person” after all. They say that pre-med classes are meant to weed people out, and after that first chemistry class, I should’ve been weeded but I was too stubborn to back down. I managed to get a C- in that chemistry class, barely studying and working a part time job at the same time. I guess I thought I could get by with the very little work I was doing, but I was in for a surprise. When I got to the next level of chemistry, I did the same amount of work if not less, praying that the curve would save me. It didn’t. I ended up getting a D in that class as well as in my calculus class. If that wasn’t enough, my gpa for the quarter was so low that I was at risk of being thrown out of the university. Reality struck hard. But, I decided I hadn’t destroyed gpa enough, so I took a chemistry lab and a probability class. I got F’s in both. At this point I knew there was no coming back from this. I gave up on any more science classes and decided to be a Sociology major. I haven’t figured out what I want to do “more than anything” but I guess I have to believe that you don’t need to have everything planned out at 20.