Am I the only one who thinks it’s super strange that all of these fairly young girls (like high school, early college) are making wedding boards on Pinterest? Boards with titles like “some day,” “one day,” “that special day,” or just, quite simply, “future wedding.” I get that we all like to dream about that special day. Even I had some ideas about it from about the age of 20 onwards, although I think about two of those actually happened on my actual wedding day. I get that it’s an important thing to plan ahead for and dream about and all that. And I know that, for years, women have had folders or notebooks with cutouts and ripped out magazine articles and things, secreted away in some file cabinet or closet.
That was the difference: they were secreted away. Yes, you’d show them to friends or whatever, when you were on the topic, especially if you felt yourself getting serious with someone. My own sister had a serious wedding notebook for years before she was married, and she even had sections for her friends’ weddings. But that wasn’t something she toted about to dates to show boys what she was thinking. That was just her thing, something that she kept around for when she wanted to start planning and for real. And when she did plan, that notebook came in super handy. But those were things that you did in the privacy of your own home, or shared with the ladies over mimosas or whatever, and not something that was displayed for the enjoyment (read: judgment) of others.
I know Pinterest is a pretty female-dominated space. I also know that your pins can be shared only with your friends and all. But really, in the online world, how many people can claim that their “friends” on Pinterest are really and truly friends? Friends to the point that she would share her aforementioned wedding planning binder with them?
I thought not.
So instead, these dreamy Pinterest boards are out there for the whole world to see. They are putting out there that you are ready to get married, that you are thinking about getting married, even if you not, in truth, actually doing either of those things. To have a whole board dedicated to “My Special Day,” filled with flowy white princess gowns, suggests that you are on the lookout for the one. And that you think the one you’re with right now is really the one, and he better be getting ready for your special day, too.
Unless guys have changed vastly in the four years I’ve been in a relationship, I can’t imagine that having that much brazen display of wedding want isn’t a tad scary. Maybe I just dated too many hipsters or something, but I wouldn’t think they would have reacted all that well to that. I think their eyes would have gotten large, and then they would have started laughing, and then they would have run, not walked, away from me. (Albeit, running in skinny jeans isn’t the easiest.)
And they might have been right to, or they might have been wrong. Who’s to say that girls posting wedding dream photos a decade in advance is wrong? I’m not saying that; share whatever you want, ladies. I just think it’s weird. I just think it’s one of the myriad ways that the internet has changed the way we think about our lives and the way we share information. That is to say, without any considerations of privacy.
I did use Pinterest as a place to gather images for my wedding. Once I was engaged. When I was planning. It was useful because they were shareable and all, and that was great. But they also were ways I could show my partner what I was thinking, rather than just planning away on my own. Much though I did most of the grunt work of the planning, he certainly had creative input, and I wanted to make sure that all of the details were things he liked, with which he felt comfortable, and all that. But to just plan a fantasy wedding on Pinterest, prior to the partner’s existence, for all the world to see, seems a little crazy to me.