Being a yes man has notoriously become the standard of socializing. You have to say yes to everything, try everything, do everything. And yes, that can be good most of the time. You should absolutely break out of your comfort zone and say yes to activities that scare you. But there is a line. Saying yes to everything is not the solution if you’re not doing it for the right reason.
If there is an activity that is out of your comfort zone and you’re hesitant, say yes. That will help you grow and will push you to be a better version of yourself. Saying “yes” goes south when you do something out of obligation, to feel busy, or if you simply have FOMO.
If you say yes out of obligation but actually don’t want to go, you will feel resentment. If you say yes because you think the person who invited you wants you to go, but you don’t actually want to go, you won’t even have fun. You will be at the party, dinner, sports game, whatever it is, frustrated that you went purely because you believed that someone else wanted you there. Do things that you want to do, not because other people want you to do them.
If you say yes to feel busy, you will burn out. Sure, a full calendar looks nice and you think you should have every minute filled with a coffee date, work out, social event, or hobby, but you should have time to do nothing. In fact, you need time for nothing. Having every second of your life planned not only takes the fun out of it but eventually becomes stressful. You need a couple hours every day with no agenda. You can cook a nice meal, read your favorite book, take a long bubble bath. Don’t burn yourself out.
If you say yes because of FOMO, stop. FOMO, or fear of missing out, is not a good reason anymore. There will be another party. There will be another vacation. There will be another happy hour. There will be another of whatever you are missing at that moment. Don’t force yourself to do it because you’re afraid of missing out. You will miss out on some activities; other people will too. It’s life—you can’t, and shouldn’t, do it all.
When should you say yes? When whatever you are saying yes to will help you grow as a person, make you feel better about yourself, or will simply be something you will enjoy. Life is too short—choose wisely and only say “yes” when you mean it.