Having Issues Doesn’t Mean I’m ‘Messed Up’


I had a friend recently speak to me on how, “If you seriously cannot leave the house on a daily basis, then something is wrong; it’s not supposed to be like that”. Precisely.

You see celebrities and acquaintances around you come out clean with their struggles. You and everyone else believe it’s fake. All for publicity and attention. How can someone with all the glory have such problems? How can you contemplate suicide when you have the world at your fingertips?

It’s a taboo subject. Not everyone wants to shed light on their struggles. You’re perceived as weak, as if you can’t handle whatever life throws at you. You’re told you just don’t work hard enough to push on or how you don’t have a strong mind.

There seems to be this forever stigma around mental health or having personal issues. People like to believe it’s “all in your head”. People like to tell you, “you’re just fine; this too shall pass”. But they don’t feel what’s inside. They will never understand what goes on in the ill mind. It can be such a dangerous place.

Any average person goes through moments of emotional highs and lows, social fears, or breakdowns every now and then. The difference between the average person and the sufferer is how these examples and more stunt living. We simply cannot live our lives, despite how badly we want to thrive in with open arms.

It’s skipping important meetings because you simply cannot muster leaving your bed. It’s the inability to go out in public without having heightened senses deteriorating your entire being.

It’s the speed of a cheetah like thought process hindering you from total focus. It’s miscellaneous thoughts swirling in your body’s high leveled space tearing apart everything you ever had a normal perspective on. It’s a person pinching at your stomach, reminding you to stop eating or get it out of you right now. It’s inflicting self harm as a way to cope with the uncontrollable emotional pain.

Everyone makes physical health as simple as can be. Oh, you sprained your ankle? Go see a doctor. You have the flu? Go get medicine. Why not with mental health? Why is it so difficult for us to wrap our heads around the fact that our brains have a chemical imbalance beyond the strength of a mind can cure?

Simply because, until we actually acknowledge there is a problem and how you shouldn’t have the thoughts or actions you have, then one can understand. Most importantly, until you experience it yourself, you’ll never fit into their shoes, even if you stretched it out with a blowdryer.

Biggest thing to keep in mind is please do not judge a book by its cover. You never know the struggles people go through. You cannot know how a person processes things mentally and emotionally because we’re all wired in our own ways.

Issues arise from anything; trauma, environmental factors, even genetics. A lot of people wear this beautiful mask called a smile on a day to day basis.

If you feel ashamed to get help, no one has to know. You will never realize how relieving it is to get help because it all seems to fall into place. If you have family members who simply won’t comprehend the issues you face, don’t report to them anyone. Keep the conversation short, if you must. If friends or significant others leave because of this, let them go. Leaving is a sign of weaving out the weak in your life. Those are people who ultimately don’t care for your well being enough. Take my word for it.

So thank you to everyone who left me; to everyone who couldn’t handle the truth that I was hurting. I now have more clarity and peace in my life; more importantly, I can leave the house.