Love has so many interpretations. It can be soft and romantic, it can have rules of engagement, it can be free flowing and open, it can sometimes be confusing or can come with prerequisites. The love I dealt with today was hard – and hard love is still love.
Hard love is the type of love you show someone when they need a kick in the ass, when you’re a mentor, a supportive force to yank them from the darkness and choose to love themselves. It is not something that everyone accepts, but it is sometimes the only way to navigate delicate situations.
I will always be heart focused – loving and compassionate, and when tough love is required – I hold onto to those pillars – but place the responsibility of ones own wellness in their hands.
You are the captain of your destiny vessel, and although my tribe will always be there when you fall – you need to pick yourself back up from the ruins and run towards us – we will guide you, we will offer you unconditional support – but we will never take the wheel. We have an independent path to take with endless opportunity – and the people that stand behind and beside you are there to urge, to comfort, and to cheerlead as you gain momentum into your new growth.
Although your path may be haunted, driven by addiction or anger or disease or self-hate – it would be a disservice for anyone to take your experience away from you as you climb out of that heaviness. The weight is yours to bear, the love you receive is ours to give.
This is a lesson, many times over, dealing with humans who I care deeply for – and it’s taken me many years to purge that culpability – but hard love is still love – and I will forever be grateful for those in my life who’ve shown me it, and I have hope that those I’m showing it to – find the love they need within themselves to distinguish the ultimate pleasure of life they so desire in order to continue their healing journey.
Love hard, be fierce, and never underestimate the power someone will feel when you allow them to take ownership of their voyage.