There’s a certain type of Thought Catalog article that is obviously written by someone who is very passionate about a certain opinion, but is very misguided. By misguided, I mean wrong. But there’s also the type of article that reminds the youth of today that they aren’t, in fact, entitled to everything. Articles that very rightly so call out people on this “everyone gets a trophy” bullshit. When I saw the title, “Guess What, Girls? You Don’t Deserve Shit,” I had hoped for such an article. You see, as a female, I, too, am sick of “princess syndrome” in which women believe they are entitled to fancy cars and purses and everyone catering to their whim. I’m sick of people acting entitled instead of working hard for what they have.
And then I read the article…
In the rare event that a man tells a friend, “You deserve a good girlfriend, good marriage, or a happy life” it never comes without a clearly articulated reason: You’re a good man, you’re working a lot to support your family, you’ve made a lot of sacrifices for your family, you’ve built a company from the ground, etc.” For women, that reason never comes.
I have never said “You deserve X” to anyone but a friend. By saying it to a friend, it implies the statement that I believe they are a good person, they have worked hard, etc. The woman being comforted has the brain power to assume that their friend meant this; it’s so obvious, it goes unspoken. I would never tell my worst enemy she deserves Ryan Gosling. She sure as hell doesn’t.
He goes on to claim that men are not entitled; they know how to work for something, and that many things don’t just fall into their laps and come easy. Well, I can rebut that in four words. “Nice guys finish last.”
The whole “nice guy” meme has been started by whiny, self-entitled little boys whose first crush didn’t like them back or their first girlfriend cheated on them. I understand. Rejection hurts. Especially when you’re in love with someone, heart and soul, and then they do something unthinkable and leave you in the dirt. It’s a common human experience. You didn’t invent it. Everyone gets their heart broken at some point in their lives, and fro what I can tell, the ones who bitch about the “nice guys” are the ones who were given trophies for participating and literally do not know how to handle rejection.
Newsflash; the entire world is not into you. Most people do not give a rats ass about you.
You can study all night for a test and still get a B. You can spar your hardest in a match and still lose. It doesn’t apply to gender; there always has to be a second place, and everyone, at some point or another, feels its sting.
So, while I’m not the person your article was aimed at, I’ll answer the author’s question; What have you done to deserve “back rubs for no reason” and all those other little tidbits of entitlement?
What have I done? I’ve been the best person I can be. I’ve learned how to be self confident and love myself despite all the adversity I have been through. And I have had the great fortune to be able to attract a guy who sees me for who I am. I treat him the way I want to be treated in a relationship; it goes both ways. I am improving myself each and every day, and I know that not everyone will like me. But when someone does, they better treat me with the same respect and love I know I will give them.