It simply does not matter how you came to this point. You are here. Your heart is in pieces and you cannot figure out how to put it back together. You ask yourself, do you even want to? How could you possibly find another person whose hand fits so perfectly into the creases of your own? How will you be able to find someone whose kiss electrifies your very core? Who is going to remember that you like, and only like, frozen chocolate bars at the movies and go out of their way to make sure that you are well-equipped for your next date night?
We are constantly told that the cure to any broken heart is the simple remedy of time. Time heals all wounds, right? Well, sort of. Time does not heal your wounds. You heal your wounds. You are the sole provider of your own well-being and while your broken heart may have momentarily rocked your world, shattered your feelings and shook your existence, it is not your be all and end all. Here are four little thoughts to help you start over, wholeheartedly.
1. It is okay to hurt.
It is okay to feel as though there is a burning feeling in your chest every time you think of a happy memory with them. It is even okay to feel that sinking in your belly when you wake up every morning and remember that they are not there beside you. It is okay. It is all okay. It is through our hurt that we are able to learn and open ourselves up. Having your heart broken is quite literally the deepest heart opener one can experience and it is through this that we are able to grow. It is okay to hurt. In fact, it is necessary.
2. What is meant for you will never leave you.
This is the purest thought I have ever encountered in all my years of heartbreak soul-searching. All of my nights lying awake in bed, wondering why I was not good enough could have been put to rest if I had just remembered that what is meant to be, simply will be. There is no use in chasing after someone if they are not meant to be in your life as this never works and deep down, you know that. If they are truly meant to be in your life, they will be. Maybe they will return somewhere down the line or perhaps they were just passing through, but regardless, what is meant for you will be and what is not, will cease.
3. There is so much more to life beyond your relationship.
It is easy to get swept up in the loving idea of an “us” mentality. While this can be touching, it can also be hurtful to remember that at the end of the day, your life is solely directed by you and you only. While our loving relationships are often what keep us going, the loving relationship with ourselves is often neglected. Let your broken heart serve as a reminder to focus on yourself a little bit more. Spend time working on learning to love yourself all over again, so that when it comes time for your heart to open up to someone new, it will be ready to embrace love in its most organic forms.
4. Most importantly, you are an unstoppable force.
Your heart is meant to be broken, countless times, over and over again. You heart is meant to be a wrecking ball. You need to experience a little pain to remember just how unstoppable you truly are. You made it through, didn’t you? You are still here, alive and breathing steadily with a strong heart beating in your chest. This did not break you. You cannot be broken.
We, as human beings, are meant to break and we are meant to love again. Never stop yourself from opening up to new experiences and never deny yourself of knowing what it is like to love again, because of all things possible in this world, that would be the most heartbreaking.