You’re not a doormat. You’re a door. Sounds weird, right? But, dearest, you are not a rug, for people to barely notice, smear their mud, trample, use or abuse as they please. You don’t owe anyone your confidence, your consent, your closure or your coexistence.
You are a passageway. You are a complex portal, granting access to a worthy few, and denying access to the insufferable many. You are your own way in and out of a beautiful life. When the burdens of life challenge your strength, you are also your own light and compass. Inside of you, positive energy burns brightly, unless you allow your spirit to be drained by the toxicity of others. At any moment, you are afforded the opportunity to reject those who don’t serve your emotional, physical or mental needs. The whispering voice of intuition is available to guide you and restore harmonious balance to your life. You only need to be courageous enough to listen closely and act quickly to preserve peace.
In cases of severe emotional damage, it’s acceptable to forgive but never forget. You are allowed to state that you never want to see someone again and let those words agree with the core of your soul. It is not a lack of emotional intelligence that causes you to guard your heart. It is wise to preserve your emotional spend to be disbursed to people who respect your boundaries and care about you in word and action.
It’s respectable to release those people who no longer serve a positive purpose. It is not small of you to deny entrance to toxicity. In fact, doing so requires great courage. Simple acts such as using the Block feature on your social media accounts and the Decline button on your phone can impact your peace in a positive way. Just pay close attention to the response signals your soul sends.
You don’t have to explain why you have locked your heart’s door. You have the inalienable right to heal and transform. You can’t rush forgiveness. Do it in your own time to avoid resentment and decline in self-esteem. In order to heal, you must restore the balance that your universe experienced before. When characters on your life’s stage introduce chaos, you are allowed to secure yourself while they are pushed out through the nearest exit. Your parents or romantic partner are not allowed to decide your self-worth. Only you can do so.
There’s no requirement that you maintain relationships with people, due to their past or current role in your life. Whatever label you assigned to their existence – friend, husband, sister, cousin – all are eligible to experience your emotional lockout under toxic circumstances. Life is too short for bad vibes. Once you have shut down the source of the negativity, don’t open yourself up to future disturbances. Go for a run. Take a hike. Get some fresh air and sunshine. Grab a bite. Laugh with your tribe. Set new goals. Nourish your soul with love and light. Your emotional stability depends on it.
Even if your support system fails you by not protecting you, or standing guard for you, find comfort in knowing that it isn’t too late. When you learn to love yourself, you learn that your soul’s contentment is not contingent on the approval of others. You may have dedicated your body, your mind, and your spirit to the wrong relationships, but change is the goal. You may have encountered toxic personalities along the way, but you have the right to transform what was meant to harm you into positive work for your soul. Forgiveness doesn’t open doors that were intended to remain closed. Embracing forgiveness allows you to heal and hold onto the people who were meant for you.