I’ve always had the tendency to give too much of my heart to people. Once people are important to me, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for them, even if I know that I could not expect the same in return. The truth is it’s my favorite part of myself, even if it has meant that I’ve spent most of my life being taken advantage of people who see it as an opportunity.
The thing is, you never know what someone is going through at any given time. If you can be the reason that someone smiles today, what could possibly be wrong with that? There is nothing better in life than seeing someone smile and knowing you’ve made a difference in their day, no matter how small. I’ve never believed in religion but for my sanity’s sake I have to believe that all the goodness you put into the world will one day make its way back to you, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.
In my life, I have met so many people and been affected in different ways by many. I have met people who will drain every ounce of love from you and I have met people who will pour themselves into you when they see you faltering. I have met people whose beauty is hidden under a mask of coldness and people who show kindness only to those who they can reap benefits from.
I have met the best and the worst kinds of people and given different pieces of myself to almost all of them. I have lost parts of myself in betrayal and grief, in cruelty and heartbreak but there is no shame in that. Without experiencing the awful parts of life, we would never truly appreciate the joys in all their glory, the exhilaration of love and laughter.
This is all not to say that you should allow yourself to be used. You do not deserve to give all of yourself to someone who will not appreciate it, even if sometimes we realize that much too late.
You do not deserve to feel your heart isn’t good enough for someone or that your happiness is less important than anyone else’s. But you do deserve peace. You deserve the ability to look at yourself as a good person, to know that no matter what has happened you have made people’s lives better in small acts and unacknowledged kindnesses. Mostly, you deserve the kind of love that will prove to you that it has all been worth it, because you are worth it.