Ask anyone, 2016 was a pretty sh*tty year. This year, I found out my husband of nearly 7 years cheated on me. I suspected it before, but it was finally confirmed. My divorce was a roller coaster filled with extreme lows and mountainous highs.
This poem was written during one of my lowest points. I was feeling ugly, fat, dull and sad. Writing was the only way to purge the negativity and build myself up again. Maybe it feels a bit conceited and self-serving, but that’s what I needed at the time.
Break-ups hurt. They force us to look deep inside ourselves. I’m sharing this poem with love and hope that maybe when someone else feels the hurt I felt, they’ll take a moment and recognize all the amazing qualities they hold.
“She’ll Never Be Me.”
One night, maybe not tomorrow,
And probably not tonight,
Something will wake you,
You’ll roll over and sigh,
You’ll look at her and think,
You’ll make an immense mistake,
You’ll match this new girl to me.
Knowing I’m peerless.
Knowing you’ve lost me for good.
But sweetie, you know,
You shouldn’t go down this hole,
She isn’t me,
And sadly, she’ll never be.
Is she an actress?
Can she sing?
Will she make you laugh?
Make you think?
Are her blue eyes blue and sincere?
Does she travel?
Can she write?
Is she open-minded?
Willing to try anything once?
Is her laugh contagious?
Can her smile uplift a room?
Will she watch cartoons for days?
Then nothing but the news for the next?
Is her heart oversized and breaking?
Feeling everyone’s pain?
Does she feed stray dogs?
Drop 5’s in beggar’s hats?
Is she fiery?
Unafraid of what lies ahead?
Does she need you?
Because you know, I never did.
Were her thighs warm and welcoming?
But, is she adventurous and free?
Will she be loyal?
Only have eyes for you?
I don’t think so, darling.
You could have had it all
A girl who thought you were the world.
You broke her apart.
You ignited insecurities that were buried long ago.
It would have been so easy to keep her.
She didn’t want to be set free.
But, your curiosity killed you.
Your roaming eyes finally won.
You’ll lie there and wonder,
Could she be thinking of you?
Don’t be silly sweetheart,
She’s living a life of dreams.
She’s never needed anyone.
Her life is finally her own.
She’s exploring, experiencing, wandering,
Becoming even better than before.