Buy anything you can’t clean.
After some serious soul searching coupled with a week of binge watching reruns of The Practice, I have decided that I want to be a television lawyer.
I am paying tribute to the umbrella: an invention so wonderful that Rihanna devoted an entire song to it.
Lesson #4: Sisters are the worst and sisters are the best
1. There is a constant battle over going out vs. staying in.
Everything is going great until your love pulls out their cell phone. To your horror, it is not a smart phone. It’s not even a blackberry. It’s a Nokia flip phone, circa 2000.
I’m sure you thought you were being really cute and funny, but there is nothing funny or cute about the pain you have caused in my life. And all because I didn’t use your card enough. In some circles showing that kind of restraint is considered a virtue. But not in your world. In your world it’s considered grounds for ending a relationship.
You’re like that ex that I never quite got over, even after years of trying and lots of therapy. Of course, our relationship is purely one-sided and always has been.
Every time I have to sign a card, there is always the possibility that something could go horribly wrong.