Leave Miley Cyrus Alone

Leave her alone, because you’re an adult and you shouldn’t even be watching MTV, a network based solely on the exploitation of insolent teenagers who use the words “swag” and “twerk” as part of their daily vernacular.

On Celebrity Deaths

On Facebook and Twitter, there’s also been this dark, morbid race to get one’s post up before everyone else’s to get the inevitable, “Oh my god! No way!” reactions from your ‘friends’.

The Master Cleanse

It’s guaranteed to change you entirely as a person. It’s guaranteed to strengthen your relationships and make you feel better about yourself.