An Open Letter To The Genuine Bisexual Men


Dear bisexual men,

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I had to label myself as bisexual six years ago just because I couldn’t figure it out. “Bisexual” was the safest platform, because “Gay” was too radical and “Straight” was too dishonest. The term is usually being used against you because others couldn’t comprehend the complexities behind it; and because others, just like me, have deceptively used the term to soften the blow of coming out.

I’m sorry I was skeptic about your existence. Bisexuality, for me, was only a label, a safe term which gays could call themselves for the meantime until the coast is clear, until everyone is ready to accept them as gays.

I’m sorry I used to discredit your identity. I believed that being bisexual was only a phase, a transition towards the real thing, a bridge from being in denial to being self-accepting.

Another thing, my dear authentic and genuine bisexual men, please take part in letting the world know that being bisexual is not about behavior, or fashion, or being closeted, or masculinity, or preference in sexual positions. It is an aspect within your sexuality wherein deep inside, you genuinely feel sexually attracted to both sexes, although not always equally.

Please take part in discouraging our gay friends from abusing the label of your identity. In fact they could use other creative labels such as “masculine gay” or “top guy” or “discreet” or “still-closeted,” just so they could prevent settling with the term ‘bisexual’.

I respect those friends of ours who refuse to be defined by labels. Yes, we live in a much more complex and progressive society where gender roles are vaguely defined; which, if you ask me, is actually a good thing. But sometimes, what we need in order to end all confusions is a label; a term that defines where we currently stand. A label is more like a surname; you wouldn’t know which family you belong until you have one.

Lastly, with all my aforementioned apologies, I want to stand with you in peace. Let us start forging strong relationships within our community because in the long run, we do not just fight for the rights of gays or bisexuals but of the whole LGBTQIA society. There are still enormous feats we need to conquer. Together, we fight. Divided, we fall.

That’s it for today, my dears. Love, pride, and happiness for all of us.

With hugs and kisses,

A genuine gay guy.