To you who feels alone, take comfort in knowing that you are not alone in feeling that way. Know that somebody else—somewhere around the globe—is feeling the same way you do. Though the reason might be different, various factors may have caused it, but I tell you, the intensity of that certain lonesomeness is the same.
That lonesomeness is the indescribable pit in your stomach that comes around without any warning at random moments, reeling you in, until it sucks you fully that you can’t even help yourself get out.
It is the blanket you embrace on a hot summer night, covering you, making you uncomfortable for no apparent reason. You want it but you don’t want it at the same time.
It is like deciding to walk in a park on a bright sunny day then suddenly, it starts raining. Ruining every plan, shading good emotions, and destroying what should’ve been a good memory.
You know that strange feeling of being a stranger in a familiar place full of familiar faces? It is loneliness of lonesomeness disguised as irony. How lonely it is to have the people you consider a family become a stranger within just a blink of an eye?
Lonesomeness is going to happy places, doing happy things, and being able to smile yet feeling empty all at the same. It is the kind of emptiness that you couldn’t describe with words, but it’s there, an elephant in a room, a loud sound of a drum in a silent house and a sun in an evening sky—an unusual yet recognizable feeling of peculiarity.
It’s feeling empty that makes you lonely.
Consequently, it’s being lonely that makes you feel alone.
You look beside you and it’s an empty space. Beside you is just air. An air that serves nothing but give your body something to process in order for you to live—but it doesn’t give you life.
At night, you hug yourself in bed hoping that somehow, someway, you’ll be able to fill your own void of emptiness so you won’t wake up the next morning and start the same battle over and over again.
I know. I should know.
So to you who feels alone, I want you to know that you are not alone in feeling that way. They say misery loves company but in reality, it doesn’t want company, it wants someone to understand the emotions they cannot even understand themselves.